University of Oregon Slaps Student with Sanctions for Four-Word Joke

A University of Oregon student faces disciplinary measures after four little words got her into a whole mess of trouble.
An unidentified female student spotted a couple walking across campus on June 9th from her dormitory window. She was joking around with some friends at the time and shouted at the couple walking across campus together “I hit it first.” The couple responded by shouting some profane words back at the student as would any rational human being. The couple’s response, however, is where the story starts to get a little weird.
The couple reported the unidentified female student to their resident assistant who then talked with the female student and asked her to issue an apology for her little jape, which she did. That should have brought an end to the non-issue but the school got word of the incident and decided to take further action against the joker. They filed five conduct charges against her including causing unreasonable noise, violating the school’s housing contract, harassment, disrupting the university and disorderly conduct. Now she awaits an appeal and possible punishment from an administrative panel or a Student Council panel, the latter of which could include suspension or expulsion for her four-word remark. Either way, she’ll have to pay administrative fees just to go before a panel to defend her behavior.
Come on, Oregon. She didn’t assault the students with a blunt object or a dangerous weapon. She threw some words at them and she even apologized. They weren’t even one of the “Seven Dirty Words That You Can’t Say on Television.” If that’s all it takes to wound someone these days, then we weep for our college students and the whole human species.