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The Best Netflix Options When You Invite a Girl to "Watch a Movie"

In college, “watching a movie” is basically the most romantic date you can take a girl on, other than formal (which is technically even less romantic because of the level of liquor involved, but at least it involves a tie). Real talk: if a girl likes you enough, you could invite her over for a riveting evening of Blackfish and she’d be DTF (down to fall in love, obviously)… but, before you break out your collection of sports docs and action adventures, think about how many more points you’d win with something that won’t make her want to vom. As accommodating as she’s being, she’s probably less than interested in watching Owls of Groot or whatever weird action movie happens to be out at the time, unless it features Channing Tatum dancing (those movies showcase so many shirtless dudes you might as well put on Magic Mike, anyway).

Unfortunately, Netflix can be hard to navigate (mostly because the options are almost always terrible, or if you’ve been drinking). So, if it’s a regular night and you feel like getting it in, but you’re still at the point where you need an excuse to lure her to your dirty dorm room, what should you put on? Here are your best bets:

The Notebook

Your first thought is probably something romantic, because that way you don’t have to be. By the time she finishes up with The Notebook she’ll be so ready for a Ryan Gosling of her own that you could basically be a dead ringer for the Hunchback of Notre Dame and she’d still let you hit it. It’s that good. Feel free to tune out, but when both of the main characters die at the end (sorry for the spoiler alert), if you pretend to at least feel some kind of way (tears would be overkill), I can personally guarantee that you’ll have a new notch in your Twin XL bed by morning.
See also: Love Actually (pro tip: save it for around the holidays when she’s feeling most homesick), or A Walk to Remember (best when you’re blackout, so you can black out everything happening– seriously, it’s that painful).


Mean Girls

Look, no matter how manly you think you are, Mean Girls is funny. Bonus points if you can quote the movie, at least a little bit — like 1% (no homo). High point? It features Lindsay Lohan before she boarded (and was subsequently run over by) the hot mess express. Instead of suggesting a horror movie so you can creepily protect her, choose a chick-flick classic and you’ll be golden. She’ll be sure to return to her dorm and let everyone know that you have amazing taste  in everything, from Mean Girls to real life ones.
See also: Clueless, Pitch Perfect, Frozen (full disclosure: if you live through this she’ll make you Facebook official by morning — or maybe even by the time the movie’s ever — and you’ll deserve it).


The League

By starting a series, you’re saying that you’re ready to make this a semi-permanent occurrence, so you might as well start off with a good one. Plus, if this biddie doesn’t think that Rafi is one of the most hilariously disturbed characters ever invented, it’s better to know to begin with. That way, you can start hinting about getting to know your Eskimo Brothers early on. This’ll help, too…
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m8V1BHHEFI&w=590]
See also: Archer (just make sure she’s ready to accept the douchenozzle side of you early on, and try not to quote it word for word), The Inbetweeners (if she’s as disgusting as you are), Parks and Recreation (if you’re not sure exactly how gross she is quite yet), or Inside Amy Schumer (the lady version of The League).


 
Other options? You can always try comedy, because both of you will be equally entertained — I suggest Aziz Ansari if you’re ready to make it awkward, or Louie if you’re trying to lose any romance that was available. If you’re not sure if you have a chance, choose from one of the many indie romantic comedies that feature a Pitchfork-worthy soundtrack and characters that mostly mumble and may or may not have British accents. They all have a hipster couple on the cover, a two-word title, and are easily interchangeable.
There’s obviously always Mad Men (Don Draper can be charming so you don’t have to). If you’re really looking to score, pop on a Disney movie of your choosing (you can go with your personal favorite/the hottest, but honestly, even Mulan would do the trick), and your dorm room will have so many girls coming and going  it’ll look like a sorority house by the end of the semester. If none of the (limited) Netflix options appeal to you, you could always kick it old school — take her to an actual movie theater, instead of your lumpy mattress.

Stuff The Intern Forgot: Chris Rock Says Fame Is Like Being A Hot Woman [Links]
Stuff The Intern Forgot: Chris Rock Says Fame Is Like Being A Hot Woman [Links]