Everyone knows that bro who thought he’s God’s gift to partying–until he got to college and get absolutely embarrassed by professionals who had spent years honing their alcoholism. Well don’t be too quick to laugh at them because the fact of the matter is that no matter where you go, there will inevitably be someone older than you who can party harder.
Here are a few theories we have as to why old people are fantastic partiers:
• Old people know that they’re going to wet the bed anyway, so they might as well have fun doing it
• They realize they can get away with it
• Their constant memory problems cause them to forget they just finished their drink, so they grab another
• They hate today’s youth so much they have to drink until they don’t know what’s going on
We’re not doctors, so we don’t know if any of those theories carry any weight but we know that one thing is true: old people party way harder than you.