Colorado Creeper Sneaks In A Selfie, Becomes Instant Urban Legend

Dude, you probably won’t believe this, but we swear this really happened to our cousin’s babysitter’s mother’s friend: There was this lady in Denver, Colorado, and she was in her apartment and she was putting her children to bed, and everything was cool–like, she didn’t hear anything weird in the house or anything–and she put the kids to bed and went to sleep as usual, but the next day, she checked her cell phone and there was a totally creepy picture of a guy there who’d walked into her home without her even knowing it and took his own picture on the cell phone just to prove that he could!
And it wasn’t even a member of the COED staff showing off some dating tips. At least, we’re pretty sure it wasn’t. We did have some people out in Colorado just a few weeks ago. Except this really, really happened on January 29th, and we’re pretty sure that we can prove the COED staff wasn’t anywhere near Denver on that day.
And, fortunately, there’s a real news report about this from CBS Channel 4 in Denver. Because, otherwise, you might not believe us, and we couldn’t blame you. After all, the whole thing really sounds like a classic urban legend. You know, like the infamous toothbrush story. And that really is a picture of the guy who took the selfie–which, frankly, is weird, since the main reason this whole thing sounds like an urban legend is that it would be easily debunked because–well, the guy would have to be found and arrested if he left behind a selfie, right?
Well, we hate to creep out the folks of Colorado by announcing that the guy’s still on the loose, but the guy is still on the loose at the time of this post. Sorry about that. And you know what else, Colorado? We hear the cops aren’t telling the whole truth, because that guy also has a hook for a hand. Yeah. Trust us on that one.