COED Writer

Scott CU - Boulder

Professional writer despite being unable to understand a lick of English.
Articles Written
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Mar 5, 2012

Where Are These Characters From <em>The Wire</em> Now?

It’s widely considered one of the best television shows of all time – a sprawling, gritty exploration of Baltimore drugs,...

Sep 27, 2011

How To Smoke Pot In A Dorm Room Without Getting Caught

For most stoners, your college days (daze?) are going to be the highlight of your pot smoking life – truly, you will never be around as many stoners so consistently ever again. And of all the places to smoke weed, smoking in your dorm room is a special kind of fun. Everything you need is nearby – friends, food, video games, and a couch to chill on. Unfortunately, most schools frown on pot smoking – to put it lightly – so if you’re gonna smoke in the dorms, you have to make sure not to get caught. Check out our tips for worry-free dorm room smoking after the jump!

Sep 26, 2011

The 6 Safest Games To Play At Work

Wouldn’t it be great to get paid to play video games all day? Well, don’t let the fact you’re not a professional gamer dissuade you – anyone can sit around and get paid to game, all you need is 1) a cubicle and 2) a job where you have no responsibility. Easy, right? So, whether you have access to the Internet or just a smartphone, we’ve got games for you. They may not be Call of Duty, but, hey, they’re better than working for a living. Check out our list of SFW-ish games after the jump.

Sep 19, 2011

Charlie Sheen’s 20 Hottest Hookups [POLL]

We've been looking forward to the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen ever since it was announced, however, it seems Charlie's backed off his near year-long, high-octane rampage over trolls. His 'best wishes' mini-speech at the Emmys indicates that maybe Sheen really had overdosed on Sheen; that sanity had been restored and the haggard, wild-eyed man who housed goddesses was now turning over a new leaf. While we understand it's humanly impossible to keep up "the crazy train" forever, we'd like to pay homage to a man who might've paid for a lot of p*ssy but still got a fair amount of fine trim free of charge. Check out our list of his hottest hookups after the jump.

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Aug 16, 2011

Saints Row The Third Trims The Fat, Looks Lean, Mean, More Obscene [TRAILERS, SCREENSHOTS]

The Grand Theft Auto series of games are works of art, with high quality story, writing, design and acting. The Saints Row games are but shallow, shameless imitators. But Saints Row also lets you spray people with sh!t from a giant hose. So we love it. The first Saints Row was a blast, part two was even better, and Saints Row: The Third is coming soon, with preview information recently released. So, what can we except from the murderous Saints gang this time around? Check out our full preview along with HD trailers and ridiculously over the top screenshots after the jump.

The Paranoid Pot Smoker’s Guide To Covering Your Tracks Online

There are always gonna be a few people who care if you smoke pot. Maybe your parents. Or your boss. Definitely your dealer. And, unfortunately, people who have a problem with your pot smoking are also the types of people more likely to spy on you online. Want to make sure you’re protecting yourself against pot-related discrimination? Check out our paranoid pot smoker’s guide to covering your tracks online after the jump.

Jul 29, 2011

9 Actors Who Tried To Sing and Failed

Everybody wants to be a rock star. Unfortunately, some people (*cough* actors *cough*) become really famous, get delusional, and suddenly believe they have musical talent. And because they bring instant name recognition, actors can get albums made. This is not a good thing. Check out our list of actors who tried to sing, but failed after the jump.

Jul 13, 2011

8 Famous Hollywood Movie Homes

Movies are supposed to be larger than your sh*tty life. Movie girls are already hotter than anyone you know, the guys have more money than you could ever dream, so of course it makes sense that the houses you see in the movies are going to make your humble abode look like the homeless guy's cardboard shack you pass everyday to your cr@p job. In order to make you feel even worse about yourself, we're showing you 8 of the houses used in your favorite movies. Make sure you unload your gun before checking these cribs out after the jump!

Jul 6, 2011

The 10 Best Sites For Gamers [VIDEO GAMES]

Let’s face it – you can’t look at porn all the time. Fortunately, aside from porn, the internet is also good for something else: information about video games. From reviews to previews, trailers to walkthroughs, there isn’t just a lot of video game info on the web, there’s actually too much. So, we at COED have culled the wheat from the chaff, and have found the 10 best video game sites on the web. Check out our list then let us know if we missed any in the comments section after the jump.

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Jun 17, 2011

10 Most Annoying Things People Do on Email

Ever since Al Gore invented the Internet back in 1930, people have been using this series of tubes to annoy each other via email. Now, while we're sure you don't do any of the following, the chances are high that you know someone who does. And if you do, tell 'em to knock it off. The rest of us will appreciate it. Here are the 10 most annoying things people do on email. Check out our list after the jump.

Jun 14, 2011

Jon Benjamin Has A Van & A Voice For TV’s Funniest Cartoon Characters [VIDEOS]

Voice acting is a gift but unfortunately, the average TV viewer doesn't have a clue who voices their most beloved characters nor do they care. While most voice actors quietly cash their checks in anonymity there's one who you recognize the instant you hear him chime in: H. Jon Benjamin. He has a new travel/comedy/man-on-the-street show premiering tonight on Comedy Central called Jon Benjamin Has a Van. To honor his pipes, we're taking a look at 10 of the funniest characters he's ever voiced. Check out our list after the jump!

Jun 4, 2011

POW! COED Shoots The Sh*t With Rob Riggle [INTERVIEW]

Rob's such a tough guy that even if his jokes were awful, we’d still have to pretend to laugh. Before becoming a comedian, this Kansan native was a United States Marine, serving in Liberia, Kosovo and Afghanistan (and he’s currently a Lt. Colonel in the Marine Corps Reserves). He began his comedy run as a correspondent on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and continued to hit hard with the laughs, appearing in Talladega Nights, Step Brothers, The Hangover and more. He can be seen June 1st alongside Tom Hanks and Julie Roberts in the comedy-drama Larry Crowne. Check out our interview with Rob along with his funniest clips after the jump.

May 30, 2011

The 6 Types of Pot Dealers You’ll Meet

With medical marijuana becoming increasingly popular and easier to get, the illicit pot dealer is gradually going the way of the pager and the video store. But, still, it’ll be long time before he is totally irrelevant. After all, medical marijuana clinics aren’t open at four in the morning, and don’t cater to healthy people. As long as there has been pot, there have been skeevy dudes willing to sell it. Check out our list of the 6 types of pot dealers you'll meet are after the jump!

May 26, 2011

5 Types of People You Should Never Get High With

Smoking weed and chilling with your buddies is an all-American pastime. And it's also a nice ice-breaker when hanging out with new people. But be careful – nothing can snuff your buzz quicker than a smoking session with a bunch of losers. Check out the 5 people you should never get high with after the jump.

May 25, 2011

Towelie’s Greatest (Bong) Hits On South Park For Towel Day [PHOTOS, VIDEO]

May 25th is Towel Day, an unofficial worldwide holiday celebrating the late author Douglas Adams and his sci-fi comedy cult classic The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a story where a towel is the most useful item possible for those who explore deep space. But there’s really only one towel that deserves a holiday – the Tynacorp-created RG-400 Smart Towel, also known as Towelie. As a tribute to the forgetful towel who always reminds people to use a towel, we've assembled some of his greatest (bong) hits with a photo gallery and video playlist. If you play them all at the same time, it sounds like the beat to FunkyTown. Okay, maybe not. Check it out after the jump!

May 17, 2011

12 Video Game Characters We’d Like to Drink With [POLL]

Video games give us an outlet to do the things we normally can't in real life. Some would say the same thing about drinking. So, it's no surprise that boozing and video games a match made in cyber heaven, a winning combination like cocaine and waffles. Playing video games drunk is the ultimate test of merit and skill, that often finds you talking to the characters on-screen. Well, what if you could get drunk WITH them? Check out the top 11 video game characters we’d get wasted with and vote for the guy you'd like to bend elbows with after the jump!

May 17, 2011

The 16 Most Completely Clueless Fictional Cops of All-Time [POLL]

We recently featured 52 photos of hot cops for National Police Week, which is goin' on right now (week of May 15th - 22nd). While those babes in blue had you thinking illegally, the "authority" figures in this post will have you dumbfounded. Yeah, they’re here to serve and protect, but for every Dirty Harry out there saving the day there’s a squad car full of Keystone Kops just around the corner. Today we're going to celebrate the second group by laying out some of the best of the worst. So join us and raise your cups of coffee and donuts to these men disgracing the badge after the jump.

May 12, 2011

The 10 Trippiest Video Games of the 21st Century [VIDEOS, POLL]

While hardcore psychedelics like 'shrooms and acid generally make playing video games an impossibility (at least while you’re peaking) there are some games out there that make you feel like you’re tripping balls even when you're stone cold sober. With their wild visuals, weird ideas, and just overall oddball aesthetics, these five 21st Century games are by far the trippiest. See our list and vote for the one you think should hold the crown of most psychedelic after the jump!

May 10, 2011

Get S.M.A.R.T. By Playing Brink [VIDEO GAMES]

In the future, we’re all going to wear patched shirts while we kill each other for cans of food and bottles of water. The up-coming Brink does nothing to dissuade this notion, yet another video game taking place in the “near future” where society has collapsed and fashion has gone the way of rope belts and cloth masks. Check out the rest of our preview after the jump!

May 6, 2011

5 Video Game Characters We’d Like to Smoke Up With

Imagine a life where everyone is trying to kill you. No matter where you go, you're often met with traps and swinging blades. Not to mention everything you do is scored, judged and graded. Well, such is life for video game characters. And with all this stress, it would come as no surprise that video game characters like to smoke a little weed in what little downtime they have. But, of all the famous video game characters over the years, which ones are the best to share a bowl with? Find out after the jump!

May 5, 2011

The Top 5 Supernatural Jobs [VIDEOS]

With the job market currently down the toilet, you're probably sitting there - right now - throwing in the towel and giving up entirely on the job hunt. While a job in the particular field you want may not be available, have you ever considered a profession in the field of paranormal investigation/extermination? With ghosts, demons and other ethereal vermin never being in short supply, there's always a need for someone willing to get their hands dirty, slimey or bloody! Check out COED's list of 5 supernatural jobs this side of awesome after the jump!

May 4, 2011

The 5 Best U.S. Cities To Celebrate Cinco De Mayo [POLL]

Cinco de Mayo commemorates the Mexicans' victory over the French occupational forces of Napoleon III during the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. Since then, the holiday has become an American celebration of Mexican culture as a whole - with plenty of margaritas and good times had by all. And just like St. Patty’s Day or Oktoberfest, you don’t have to be of any particular ethnicity in order to join in on the fun. So, where should you party on 5/5? Know where to go by checking out COED's list of the 5 best places to celebrate Cinco de Mayo and don't forget to vote for the city you'd most like to celebrate in after the jump!

May 4, 2011

COED’s Video Game Guide To Surviving Zombie Apocalypse [VIDEOS]

When the real zombie apocalypse arrives, only a total dumbass will look to zombie movies for tips on how to survive. Because while those people will be busy doing stuff people in zombie movies do, like giving birth and being totally racist, the people who look to video games for survival tips will be off creating a zombie-free society on an island somewhere. Check out our 5 tips for surviving the zombie apocalypse that we learned from video games after the jump!

Apr 28, 2011

Will “Crysis 2” Make You Cry, Sissy? [VIDEO GAMES]

Crysis 2, the sequel to the smash hit 2007 PC game Crysis , is a first-person shooter where you’re equipped with the Nanosuit 2.0 - a suit capable of incredible abilities. Originally, fans of the first outing were skeptical that this sequel wouldn't live up to the hype of its predecessor, but so far, the response from both gamers and critics alike has been overwhelmingly positive. Regardless of what they think, does this game actually deliver the goods or is just another case of fanboy hyperbole? Check out our review of Crysis 2 for the final verdict after the jump!

Apr 21, 2011

Rev Up Your Lancers With The “Gears Of War 3” Beta [VIDEO GAMES]

Fanboys of the Gears of War franchise were left utterly heartbroken when Epic Games dropped the buzzkill bomb and announced that the highly anticipated Gears of War 3 would not be released on April 13th as originally intended, having been delayed until September 20th. But not wanting to leave their fans out in the bitter cold, the developers have released a free multiplayer beta currently running on Xbox Live - from April 18th through May 15th, mind you - to sate their appetites for carnage! Read on to learn how you can get your hands on this beta, as well as what's in store!

Apr 20, 2011

The Best And Worst TV Shows To Watch While High

TV and marijuana go together like, well, TV and marijuana. While getting high makes doing just about anything more fun, there's nothing quite as relaxing as getting stoned and becoming one with the couch for a marathon of your favorite shows. But be warned, watching TV while high can be a double-edged sword because while there's plenty of awesome programming out there, there's also a few which are so bad they'll instantly kill your buzz. Check out our guide to the 5 best - and the 5 worst - TV shows to watch while high. See the list after the jump!

Apr 19, 2011

Mortal Kombat Fights Oxymorons In “Fatality Lives” [VIDEO GAMES]

Mortal Kombat, the game, may be all about fatalities - but Mortal Kombat, the licensed property, has refused to die. Since the original 1992 arcade game, the Mortal Kombat universe has expanded to include over 8 video games, several films, comic books, a card game and even a live action stage show. Today, April 19th, the newest addition Mortal Kombat Fatality Lives drops for the Xbox 360 and PS3. Series creator Ed Boon promises that with this new game, Mortal Kombat will be “coming back with a vengeance.” Check out our preview and the HD trailer after the jump!

Apr 18, 2011

The Best and Worst Places To Smoke Pot

CNBC's Marijuana & Money (one of our Websites of the Week) recently published its list of top marijuana travel destinations. While everyone who hasn't lived in a bomb shelter knows Amsterdam is the place to be, there are a ton of other places where you can enjoy smoking some good, quality pot. However, not everyone is on board with the puff parade. We're here to point you in the right direction with a list of some of the world's hottest smoking destinations, as well as ones you should avoid all together!

Apr 16, 2011

Raymond Cox And The Quest For 1 Million Gamerscore Points [INTERVIEW]

You may have never heard of Raymond Cox, a.k.a Stallion83, but one thing is for sure: he has a higher Xbox Live gamerscore than you do, and he has the world records to prove it. Since 2005 - on the launch day of the Xbox 360 console - Raymond has been aggressively pursuing one million XBL achievement points – a number he hopes to be the first person in the world to reach. At 550,500 points and counting, we caught up with Raymond via email to learn how his quest got started, how it’s going and what games he looks forward to this year. After all, who better to ask than the guy who plays everything?

Apr 15, 2011

Dudes Named Diamond Are Forever… Unless They Suck

April's birthstone is the diamond, and while they may be forever a girl's best friend, the thought of buying one can induce never-ending nightmares for the average joe. You have be to a real stud with big brass balls to pull off wearing diamonds, but what about dudes named Diamond? They'd have to be just as flashy, right? Here's a rundown of well-known bros who've carried the moniker along with our verdict on whether or not they're worthy to keep it! See the list along with our decisions after the jump!

Apr 13, 2011

The 16 Hottest Girls Of “The Real World”

For nearly 20 years now, The Real World has entertained viewers worldwide with drunken screaming matches, hot tub orgies and other moments of complete and unbridled “realness.” This season in Las Vegas has really turned up the ante, providing conflict, drama, and plenty of eye candy. To celebrate the series that started this whole reality show craze, we take a look at the show's hottest girls who range from crazy to quiet, virginal to "casual", bitchy to bitchin'. Check' em out below and vote for the chick you think is the hottest after the jump!

Apr 12, 2011

Top 10 Worst Successful TV Shows [VIDEOS & POLL]

While we’re hardly TV snobs (hey, it’s not called the "boob tube" for nothing) there are some shows we definitely can’t stand. Fortunately, we do have people with the common sense to know when it's time to pull the plug. But often times, we get television programs that don't know when to stay dead after jumping the shark. Like a zombie, they lurch across our TV screens and eat away at every last brain cell until we're mute vegetables unable to change the channel. Here's a top ten list of the television shows which manage to suck hard while dominating the ratings!

Apr 12, 2011

The Taxman Cometh: The 15 Most Infamous Tax Cheats of All-Time

Since 1955,  April 15th has always been referred to as "Tax Day", the final day to file one's federal and state income tax returns. This year, the deadline was extended to Monday, April 18th. As the "tax man cometh", the gainfully employed scurry to ensure they end up receiving and not owing. That is, unless you're a "tax cheat". The list of modern history’s most notorious tax cheats is a veritable who's who of murderers, pornographers, actors and run-of-the-mill wackos. But regardless of their background, color, race, religion, or creed, they all have one thing in common: they were all very rich when they committed their tax crimes. See our list of America's most infamous tax cheats after the jump!

Apr 11, 2011

Top 10 Fictional Vehicles We Wish Were Real [VIDEOS]

What's wrong with vehicles today: nearly everything! We have to put up with poor gas mileage, traffic, road rage and the lack of lasers and time-traveling technology. It's days like these we wish we were living in the worlds of geek fantasy, where getting to work on time isn't a problem and going on a date with Cleopatra in 1920s New York is a reality! There's plenty of sick rides that our characters use to get from point A to point B, but which ones make us wish science would catch up to the advancements our nerdy realms have made possible? Buckle up and check out COED's top ten list of fictional vehicles we wish were real!

Apr 4, 2011

“Homefront” Takes A Big Step Back [VIDEO GAMES]

By the time I got my hands on Homefront, I already had an idea of what to expect, thanks in part to the countless video game sites who had already reviewed it.  Critics and gamers alike ripped Homefront to shreds, calling it everything from an uninspired experience to just a flat-out, broken disaster. After all this bashing, my expectations weren’t exactly low, they were more along the lines of “This game is so bad, it’s actually gonna be fun. I should get drunk first.” So, when in the right inebriated state of mind, is this game actually entertaining? Find out after the jump!

Apr 1, 2011

Top 10 Sexiest Video Game Vixens [POLL]

It wasn't very common to see gamers fawning over female video game characters 20 or so years ago. Such affections were geared towards the ladies of comics and movies; 8-bit and 16-bit women just don't scream "sex appeal." But ever since Lara Croft came blasting her way into the hearts of geeks everywhere one brisk October in 1996, you can't walk into GameStop without seeing a group of nerds worshiping a poster of Chun-Li or some sweaty creepy guy in a trench coat ogling that copy of Dead Or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball sitting in the bargain bin. There are many video game vixens that make us all weak at the knees, but - for the sake of time - we've narrowed it down to the 10 best! See who made the list and vote for your favorite after the jump!

Mar 28, 2011

ICANN Approves .XXX Domain Name: What Does It Mean To You?

Soon, an event will occur that common sense once dictated would never be possible: the internet might be getting even more porn. Last week, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers ("ICANN") – the non-profit corporation which regulates the internet’s domain names – voted to allow the creation of the “.xxx” domain name for adult entertainment sites. Now that .xxx is a reality, expect the number of porn sites to skyrocket. So, what does this mean for you? Find out after the jump!

Mar 27, 2011

Lisa Ling Is A Total Badass [VIDEOS]

Lisa Ling has bigger balls than you. Well, metaphorically, of course, but it’s still true. This beautiful Chinese-American reporter has been to places and done things that would make almost anybody sh!t their pants in terror. Ling got her start on Channel One, then eventually moved onto The View, where she was a co-host from 1999 to 2002. So far, not particularily badass. But once Ling began reporting for National Geographic Explorer, that’s when she became The Reporter Without Fear. Don’t believe me? Check out her most bad-ass videos after the jump!

Mar 23, 2011

5 Indie Video Games To Check Out On Xbox Live

The Indie Games section on XBOX Live is similar to the Wild West, it's home to the good, the bad and the downright weird. On a semi-regular basis, I'll choose five indie games at random and give a short, but thorough review for each; remember, I'm not going to sort through all the games just to find five good ones. My selections are either new, popular, or ones which just happen to catch my eye. Every title has a free trial and, should you find something you really like, it costs next to nothing to purchase the full game. Check out our full review after the jump!

Mar 21, 2011

Portal 2: The Cake Isn’t A Lie [VIDEO GAMES]

Portal 2 drops April 18, and the big question is: Will the sequel live up to the expectations, or was the first game simply lightning in a bottle, unable to be captured twice in a row? Find out with our full preview of the game - along with screengrabs and the trailer - after the portal jump!

Mar 19, 2011

To Live And Die In L.A. Noire [VIDEO GAMES]

This May, Rockstar Games is going to release a game unlike anything they’ve ever released before: A game where you solve crimes, instead of commit them. L.A. Noire is one of the most anticipated games of 2011, and with the recent release of the first ever gameplay trailer, that anticipation continues to build. Read our full preview and watch the trailer after the jump!

Mar 18, 2011

The Dark Knight Enters Hell In “Batman: Arkham City”

Recently resurrected from the grave in the comics, Bruce Wayne is also making his triumphant return to video games this October in Rocksteady’s Batman: Arkham City, the sequel to 2009’s critically acclaimed Batman: Arkham Asylum. Based on trailers and information released so far, this title is one of the most highly anticipated games of 2011 and could be the game of the year. See our full preview along screengrabs and the trailer after the jump!

Mar 14, 2011

American McGee’s Alice Returns To Madness This Summer [VIDEO GAMES]

There’s Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, there’s Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland and then there’s American McGee’s Alice - who is a whole different chick altogether. The 2000 PC game American McGee’s Alice was a violent, surreal take on the classic tale. Here, Alice was a teen and Wonderland existed only in her mind. Her battle was a fight for her sanity and she fought it with a an arsenal of sick and twisted weaponry brutally butchering every card guard, Jabberwocky and Caterpillar in her path. Sound familiar? (*cough* Sucker Punch *cough*) The sequel, Alice: Madness Returns is set to drop this summer and trailers have now been released which give us some idea of what to expect. See pics and the trailer after the jump!

Mar 14, 2011

Get Your Tickets To The 2011 U.S. Pole Dancing Championship [70 PICS]

Everyone, with the possible exception of dads with daughters, loves a good pole dance. But if you can take your eyes off the nudity for just a sec you’ll see there’s a lot more athleticism, and art, to rocking that pole than most people think. Until recently, most pole dancing “competitions” were judged by applause or some other equally arbitrary method. There wasn't an impartial way to give the art of pole dancing the recognition it deserved. Which is why the US Pole Dancing Federation was created in 2008. See a video of 2010's USPDF Professional champion, Alethea Austin, along with 70 pics of her and other pole dancers including Miss Pole Dance World Felix Cane, Miss Pole Dance Canada Crystal Lai, and Miss Pole Dance USA Jenyne Butterfly after the jump!

Mar 13, 2011

Meet The Man Who Killed Batman: Grant Morrison

Everyone's heard of Batman, but have you heard of Grant Morrison? Because he's done what the Joker, Two-Face and all the others couldn't - he's the man who finally killed The Dark Knight. Morrison is the famed comic book writer behind Batman R.I.P., where Bruce Wyane is killed, and Batman and Robin, where the first Robin - Dick Grayson - has to take up the Bat-mantle. But, as with most comic characters, Bruce Wayne didn’t stay dead forever, and with the recent hardcover release of The Return of Bruce Wayne, Grant Morrison’s work is once again in the news.  Here’s a look at some of both the professional and personal highlights of one of comic’s consistently creative, popular and controversial writers. Check out Grant's full profile after the jump!

Mar 9, 2011

Top 10 Most Controversial Video Games [VIDEOS]

Video games will rot your mind, warp your psyche and turn you into a drooling, homicidal nimrod. At least the good ones will. In honor of Bulletstorm, the so-called “Worst Video Game in the World," we've compiled a list of the 10 most controversial video games. What makes a game controversial? It could be for profanity, sexuality, violence, or plain ol' debauchery. Whatever the case may be, here are 10 that pushed the envelope so far off the frickin' map of decency, even we question if it's right for the general public. WARNING: The following videos are explicit in nature and highly offensive. Viewer discretion is advised.

Mar 7, 2011

Bulletstorm Game Review + Vote For Your College To Win A Free Snoop Dogg Concert!

When I first saw the trailer for Bulletstorm, it seemed almost comically generic, yet another over-the-top gore-fest FPS set in...

Aug 23, 2010

Monday Night Combat: Let’s Get Ready to Rumble (For a Few Months)

When, o' when, will that future finally arrive? You know, the one where humans fight each other to the death for cash and prizes in game shows televised across the globe? "Monday Night Combat" is the latest in the "soon we'll all be killing each other for fun and profit" canon, and it's a fairly simple recipe: Take a healthy portion of "Team Fortess 2," add a dose of any turret defense game, a splash of "SmashTV" and you have Xbox Live's latest entry in its "Summer of Arcade" series. (And am I the only one who finds the phrase "Summer of Arcade" to be incredibly grammatically annoying?)

Aug 23, 2010

Nobody Survives Forever: Left 4 Dead 2 The Passing

If you're a gamer like me, there's probably all sorts of ridiculous stuff you think you can do in real life, even though you so totally can't. Like, I've never seen -- much less fired -- a rocket launcher, but thanks to video games, I just have this *feeling* that, if the situation presented itself, I could use one to shoot down a helicopter. Probably with one shot. And I could -- again, if I reeeeally had to -- easily navigate a motorcycle down the wrong way of a freeway. But nowhere am I more delusionally confident than when it comes to a zombie apocalypse. Never mind the fact that, in real life, I both get winded running up a flight of stairs and hate strong smells. I could still survive --nay, thrive -- in a zombie apocalypse.

Aug 16, 2010

10 Movies About Video Games That Don’t Suck

It's well established that movies based on video games are terrible -- I'm looking at you, Tara Reid. But what about movies about video games? Here are the top ten movies about video games that don't epically fail:

Jul 16, 2010

Blacklight: Tango Down – Cheap Friggin’ Fun

"Blacklight: Tango Down" is a new multiplayer frag-fest. While it's certainly not a reinvention of the genre, it is a solid and fun experience. The story involves a group of high-tech soldiers called Blacklight and a group of high-tech terrorists called The Order. They don’t like each other for some reason. Whatever. “Blacklight” is basically "Call of Duty" in a sci-fi, future-y, dystopian setting.

Jun 6, 2010

5 Ways Serial Killers Can Help You Pick Up Women

They're passionate. They're accomplished. They're attentive. They're also, unfortunately, likely to make a suit out of your skin. Serial killers! They're out there, sharpening their axes. using their tried-and-true methods -- albeit with a few minor modifications -- you, too, can get the woman of your dreams. Here are five tips and techniques from America's number one lady-killers.

May 12, 2010

Make Friends by Shooting Them in the Face

Pity poor Master Chief, the hero of the Halo games. While M.C. is truly a one-man army, saving the universe many times over, we can’t help but think that, deep down, all he really wants is a friend. Or a puppy. And even worse for the big guy, he’s not even in Halo: Reach, the hotly anticipated Xbox 360 game which is shaping up to be THE title of the year and features Master Chief sitting on the sidelines for the first time.

Apr 21, 2010

5 Rules for Online Gaming

Solo games are great, but it's also a lot like hitting a tennis ball against a garage door. Eventually, you gotta get out there and mix it up with real people. But when you try playing online, you find yourself quickly getting your ass kicked by a bunch of lunatic teens. I understand. I used to be just like you. But, I promise, there’s a whole fun world of online gaming out there, and I’m going to help you find it.

Mar 17, 2010

God of War III: Even Threesomier

Ah, the Ancient Greek Gods. When they’re not eating their own children, or sexually assaulting our women, they’re monkeyshining us into killing our families. Such is the plight of Kratos, the sword-swinging star of the mega-popular, and mega-violent, God of War.