COED Writer

Mike

Articles Written
328
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LATEST ARTICLES WRITTEN
Apr 5, 2013

Look Your Manliest In This 70s Hairy Chest Sweater

For those of you not ethnic enough to grow amazing chest hair and not rich enough to afford a gold...

Apr 4, 2013

Ashtray Cake Is A Man’s Cake [PHOTO]

To preface: smoking is bad for you. Well, at least smoking cigarettes is bad for you. You shouldn’t smoke. But...

Apr 4, 2013

If You’re Going To Attack A 56-Year-Old Woman, Make Sure You’re Not Wearing A Fraternity Sweatshirt With Your Pledge Name On It

If you’re a respectable member of society, no time is a good time to mug someone. But if you’re a...

Apr 3, 2013

Australian Couple Gets Four DUIs In One Day

DUI is not a crime you want to get charged with. And it’s even worse if you get a second...

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Apr 3, 2013

Is Hallway Swimming The Next Big Internet Meme? No, It’s Not [VIDEO]

What’s the most important part of high school? If you said “being cool,” you’re right. Your next question might be,...

Bob Costas Quotes His Favorite Ludacris Lyric [VIDEO]

The rap game: if you want to get ahead in it, you can’t just keep running through the same old...

Apr 3, 2013

The Smartest Man Alive Is Here To Show Us How To Cook Scrambled Eggs Inside The Shell [VIDEO]

Cooking: only suckers do it. Real people feast at restaurants or on things you can eat right out of the...

Apr 2, 2013

Video Proof The NBA Is Rigging Games For The Lakers [VIDEO]

It’s been a tough season if you’re a Lakers fan. And there are a lot of Lakers fans. But it...

Apr 2, 2013

Apr 1, 2013

The Ultimate Subway Saxophone Battle [VIDEO]

One time I was riding the New York subway and I saw a guy staring down the woman across from...

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Mar 29, 2013

Reddit’s Guide To The Wu-Tang Clan: The Classic Albums

It’s 2013, which means it’s been 20 years since Wu-Tang Clan dropped their seminal first record Enter the Wu-Tang (36...

Mar 29, 2013

Guess What Words It Sounds Like When This Kid Says ‘Dump Truck’ [VIDEO]

Videos of kids saying words and having it sound like a curse are so prevalent on the web it’s essentially...

Mar 29, 2013

Kung Fu Grandpa Gets His Nunchuck On In The Food Lion Parking Lot [VIDEO]

Playing with nunchucks can be dangerous — especially if you’re old and slowly losing your dexterity. Best to find yourself...

Mar 29, 2013

Not Appropriate: Crucifixion Corn Dogs Just In Time For Easter

Easter is one of the holiest days on the Christian calendar, which may make it seem odd that blogger Michael...

Mar 29, 2013

Start Your Morning By Learning How To 3D Print Your Own Gun At Home [VIDEO]

VICE would like you to meet Cody R Wilson. Who is Cody R Wilson?  He’s the man who “has figured...

Mar 28, 2013

Parents Complain After Teacher Uses The Word ‘Vagina’ In Class On Reproductive System

Sex ed is always a sensitive subject when taught in schools. Teachers want to make sure students handle the subject...

Mar 28, 2013

The Iron Shiek’s Crazy Drinking & Driving Story Gets The Animated Treatment [VIDEO]

No one expects a story from the former WWF’s The Iron Shiek to be normal. I doubt you’d expect a...

Mar 27, 2013

Minor League Baseball Team To Debut Pee-Controlled Urinal Video Games

As if Minor League Baseball games weren’t exciting enough…! Just kidding, of course. But honestly, there is no event that...

Mar 27, 2013

Ask Your Doctor About Tacos [PARODY VIDEO]

It’s not Falafel Tuesday. It’s not Egg Roll Tuesday. It’s Taco Tuesday. (At least at the bar near me it...

Mar 27, 2013

Cancel The Grammys, We Already Have A Winner For Every Award [MUSIC VIDEO]

I have no idea what I just watched, but it sure as f*** beats The Voice. After some quick, unverified...

Mar 27, 2013

Peep-Infused Vodka Is Perfect For Easter

If there’s one thing Easter always needs more of, it’s vodka. But you can’t just down a bottle of Smirnoff...

Mar 27, 2013

Pole Smashes Through Bus Windshield In China Nearly Killing Driver [VIDEO]

Hot on the heels of that Chinese sinkhole, more dramatic footage from China: a lamppost flying through the windshield of...

Mar 26, 2013

NYC Rap Lyrics Posted On Signs At The Location Of The Lyric [24 PHOTOS]

Name checking specific locations in rap music is about as old a tradition as talking about bitches in rap music....

Mar 21, 2013

Does Her Number Matter? [HE SAID/SHE SAID]

Depending on your own personality and sexual history, the concept of a girl’s number (how many people they’ve slept with)...

Mar 21, 2013

‘KABOOYOW! Woman’ Is Your Latest Local News Internet Celebrity [VIDEO]

Remember when the point of local news was to inform people by interviewing reputable eyewitnesses who could give an accurate...

Mar 21, 2013

‘Yet Another F***ing Music Festival’ Is Definitely Going To Be The Hottest Festival Of The Summer [PIC]

I’m pretty sure this is the festival Wyatt is out of town for right now.  If not, it might as...

Mar 20, 2013

President Obama’s NCAA Bracket Is Awful

I don't like to get into politics. I'm a registered Green Party member anyway, so what the hell do I know. But I'll call 'em how I see 'em...

Mar 18, 2013

Star Wars Parody Asks If The Destruction Of The Death Star Was An Inside Job [VIDEO]

9/11 conspiracy theorist are the worst. Odd, isn’t it, that those who think 9/11 was an inside job never seem...

Mar 18, 2013

Play ‘Legend Of Zelda’ As Zelda Saving Link In New Hack [VIDEO]

It’s been confusing people since the classic video game was released by Nintendo way back in 1986: am I playing...

Mar 18, 2013

Jumping Over A Cop Will Get You Arrested [VIDEO]

They’re just jealous because pigs aren’t as light on their feet....

Mar 15, 2013

Meet The World’s Classiest Nose Picker [VIDEO]

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your opportunities to pick your...

Mar 15, 2013

Street Performer Finally Does Something Cool: Punches A Guy In The Face [VIDEO]

Want your family and friends to disown you? Just tell them you’re going to be a street performer....

Mar 15, 2013

Guns In Movie Scenes Replaced With Thumbs Up [56 Pics]

You’ve heard it a million times before: movies are too violent. Well, the geniuses over at the blog Thumbs and...

Mar 14, 2013

‘Colourful S***’ Shows What Poops Look Like After Eating Specific Foods [PHOTOS]

File this one under “proof that art can be awesome.” We all have drank a little too much red wine...

Mar 14, 2013

Bellagio In Las Vegas Now Offering An All-You-Can-Eat Caviar Bar For $38

Caviar — it’s a food of luxury. Why? I’m not so sure. It’s just fish eggs. But it’s beloved by...

Mar 14, 2013

Drunk Man Falls Asleep In French Fries, Is Awoken By Police, Resumes Eating French Fries [VIDEO]

Engaging in criminal activity is hard work. While you’re constantly looking over your shoulder to see if the police are...

Mar 14, 2013

March Madness Would Be Much More Exciting If They Played It With This Exploding Basketball [VIDEO]

There’s a theory in sports that goes a little something like this: every sport would be better if something in...

Mar 11, 2013

Here’s An Old Man Kicking A Snake In The Face [VIDEO]

Earlier today we posted 8 Old Dudes Doing Awesome Things. Know what wasn’t on that list? Kicking a snake in...

Mar 6, 2013

The Most Epic Russian Construction Fail Of All Time [VIDEO]

I know words like “epic” and “fail” and “of all time” and “Russian” get thrown around a lot on the...

Mar 6, 2013

The 5 Most Important Pieces Of Strip Club Etiquette From A Strip Club DJ

Guest blogger Dee Simon was a strip club DJ in San Francisco in the mid-2000s. He recently wrote a memoir...

Mar 6, 2013

‘Rapefruit’ Is Not A Real Fruit, Thankfully

As an editor myself, I know sometimes we make mistakes. For instance, sometimes you think a slice of grapefruit looks...

Mar 4, 2013

Show Your Passover Appreciation With A Matzo iPhone Case

If you’re Jewish, you’re probably always thinking, “Why aren’t their iPhone cases designed specifically for my needs?”...

Mar 4, 2013

Thousands Of Gallons Of Whiskey Accidentally Dumped Down The Drain

No matter how bad things go at your job, you’ll probably never have a day as bad as these workers...

Mar 4, 2013

Not Only Is Apple’s ‘iWatch’ Being Developed, It Could Be Coming Out This Year

The rumor mills have been spinning tales of a new Apple wristwatch (dubbed by someone, not necessarily Apple as the...

Mar 4, 2013

‘Fat Batman’ Conducts Citizen’s Arrest In England

Never let little things like the fact that you’re obese and superheros aren’t real come between you and your dream...

Mar 4, 2013

New Technology Projects Billiard Shots Right Onto The Table [VIDEO]

Playing pool is so easy on your smartphone. You just line up your shot based on a few imaginary lines...

Mar 2, 2013

Saturday Night Music Fight [March 2nd, 2013]

Mike likes 70s music. Wyatt has more modern tastes. Both of these COED editors think they have what it takes...

Mar 1, 2013

McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets’ Shapes Have Specific Names

Who knew so much science went into the Chicken McNugget?...

Mar 1, 2013

Breaking News: Jennifer Lawrence Smokes Weed Just Like Everyone Else In Hollywood [PICS]

So Jennifer Lawrence was photographed earlier this week (as celebrities often are) during her post-Oscar victory celebration in Hawaii, and...

Mar 1, 2013

Australian Man Wears Underwear On His Head As Disguise During Robbery [VIDEO]

If you’ve reached a point in your life where you’re robbing service stations to support yourself, chances are you don’t...

Mar 1, 2013

Man Tries Skydiving With An Umbrella Like Mary Poppins, Proves It Doesn’t Work [VIDEO]

I don’t think many people have ever mistaken Mary Poppins as a true story, but that didn’t stop one inquisitive...

Mar 1, 2013

Watch A Flaming Semi-Trailer Fall Off A Bridge [VIDEO]

This happened yesterday in Waterloo, Iowa....

Feb 28, 2013

Pepsi Vending Machine In DC Was Rigged To Sell Malt Liquor To Kids

In the “why didn’t I think of that department,” police in Washington, DC recently discovered an old Pepsi vending machine...

Feb 28, 2013

If You’ve Been Looking For A $900 Flask, Well Here You Go

Typically, I associate flasks with alcoholic degeneracy. The few times I’ve use a flask have involved drinking in places I...

Feb 28, 2013

Just Photos Of Dennis Rodman & Kim Jong-Un Hanging Out At A Basketball Game In North Korea [PHOTOS]

Earlier this week, news broke the basketball “legend” (you know why the quotes are there) Dennis Rodman was taking a...

Feb 28, 2013

Hand-Drawn TV Show Apartment & House Floor Plans [PICS]

TV show sets are an interesting phenomenon. We know they are fake, traditionally consisting of a mere 3 walls so...

Feb 28, 2013

‘Goat Editions’ Are Out, ‘Motion Activated Towel Dispenser Editions’ Are In [VIDEO]

Last week, “Goat Editions” were all the rage, starting with a goat edition of Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were...

Feb 27, 2013

Hip-Hop Quotes Meet Peanuts Comics: An Art Exhibition [PHOTOS]

If you like both Snoopy, the cartoon dog, and Snoop Dogg, you’re going to love this. Artist Mark Drew recently...

Feb 27, 2013

Meet The Marijuana Cannon That Was Firing Packets Of Pot Across The Mexican Border

Edison, Einstein, Jobs… all these men were idiots compared to the man who invented the border fence-circumventing “marijuana cannon.” The...

Feb 23, 2013

Saturday Night Music Fight [February 23rd, 2013]

Mike likes 70s music. Wyatt has more modern tastes. Both of these COED editors think they have what it takes...

Feb 22, 2013

Jay-Z & Justin Timberlake Announce ‘Legends Of The Summer’ Stadium Tour

When I think “legendary summer concerts,” I think of two things: former boy band pop singers and aging rappers. Don’t...

Feb 22, 2013

An Epic Squirrel Fight Told In 6 Photos [PHOTOS]

Videos. Garbage. Who needs ’em? And GIFs. Seriously? How do you even pronounce that word? And television. Lame. What? I’m...

Feb 19, 2013

Who Makes Your Beers: 2 Brewers & Their 210 Brands [INFOGRAPHIC]

Quick. who makes these beers: Hoegaarden, Stella Artois, Franziskaner, Boddington’s, Busch and Rolling Rock?...

Feb 19, 2013

Caffeinated Hot Sauce Is A Real Thing

Everyone knows that everything is better caffeinated. It’s what we learned after all those people died drinking Four Loko. In...

Feb 19, 2013

Study Suggests That No Two Web Pages Are More Than 19 Clicks Apart

We’ve all heard of the concept of “six degrees of separation” — the idea that we’re all just six people...

Feb 19, 2013

The Dildomaker: A Device That Carves Anything Into A Dildo

Talk about a solid idea: designer Francesco Morackini came up with this conceptual invention of a machine that can transform...

Feb 19, 2013

Brothers Celebrate $75,000 Lottery Win With Meth & Marijuana, Accidentally Blow Up Their House

You’ve just won $75,000. What do you do? Buy some methamphetamines and marijuana to celebrate, of course....

Feb 19, 2013

‘Harlem Shake’ Update: Baauer Does Reddit AMA & A New Best Harlem Shake Video Emerges? [VIDEO]

Yesterday was a hell of a day for music AMAs on Reddit. First, shortly after noon, Thom Yorke of Radiohead...

Feb 18, 2013

Watch Two Girls Eating ‘Condom Ice Cream’: What Could Go Wrong [VIDEO]

Japan is known for strange products, so the fact that you can find ice cream stuffed in a condom isn’t...

Feb 18, 2013

‘The COED Burger’: See The Recipe For The Highest Class Low-Class Burger Ever Conceived

On February 22nd, the Amstel Light Burger Bash will be held at the South Beach Wine & Food Festival. To...

Feb 18, 2013

Spend An Hour Watching A Nickel Rolling On A Treadmill [VIDEO]

This video actually broke a record: the record for the saddest way to waste your time on YouTube....

Feb 18, 2013

Guy Drinks 20 Year Old Crystal Pepsi He Bought On eBay, Pukes [VIDEO]

Sure this video feels like a rip-off of our old buddy Shoenice. This guy (“L.A. Beast” he calls himself) even...

Feb 18, 2013

Body-Slamming A Cactus Is One Of Those Things You Shouldn’t Try [VIDEO]

I prefer to think of this as “extreme acupuncture.”...

Feb 14, 2013

Offensive, Inappropriate & Bizarre Valentine’s Day Cards [22 PICS]

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t only be about love. It should be about offending people and racism and telling people you don’t...

Feb 11, 2013

Official Betting Odds For The Next Pope

After hearing that Pope Benedict XVI was resigning, I’m sure for many of you, your first question was, “Who’s going...

Feb 7, 2013

‘Things Fitting Perfectly Into Other Things’ Is The Zen Tumblr You’ve Been Looking For [14 PHOTOS]

The concept is simple. In fact, it’s the title of the Tumblr: Things Fitting Perfectly Into Other Things. It’s the...

Feb 6, 2013

Get Caught Up With ‘Project: S.E.R.A.,’ IGN’s New Original Sc-Fi Web Series [VIDEOS]

I don’t know about you, but the phrase “web series” doesn’t inspire much confidence in me to expect things like...

Feb 6, 2013

Joel McHale Makes Bizarre Cameo On Last Night’s Tosh.0 [VIDEO]

Did anyone else catch this last night? Joel McHale of The Soup (and, of course, Community) made a strange guest...

Feb 6, 2013

The Top 10 Rick Astley Songs Of All Time In Celebration Of His 47th Birthday

Richard Astley, better known by his stage name Rick Astley, was born in Newton-le-Willows, Lancashire, England on February 6th, 1966,...

Feb 6, 2013

A Bluegrass Version Of Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg’s The Next Episode [VIDEO]

I don’t know whether to laugh my ass off or get up and do a hoedown....

Feb 5, 2013

Meet ‘Meat America’ — A Kickstarter You Need To Help Fund [PHOTOS]

What are you doing right now??? Do you have money?? If so, go to the Meat America Kickstarter page and...