COED Writer

John - USMA

Articles Written
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Dec 23, 2010

How To Cuddle Correctly

Even the most macho male can admit that cuddling in bed is pretty rad - unless your arm gets trapped underneath a pile of pillows, losing all blood circulation while your girl sleeps easy. I never thought somebody would have the brains or patience to solve this problem of all problems, but I was wrong: here is a list of superior snuggling tips.

Dec 23, 2010

Brew Review: Samuel Adams Winter Lager

When I'm holed up indoors during the winter months I find myself appreciating the taste of beer far more than any other season. Mark it up to cabin fever if you want, but my taste buds pucker up in cold weather. Samuel Adams Winter Lager, one of the brewing company's many great season-specific beers, doesn't disappoint in my constant need for a well-bodied, alcoholic beverage in cool weather.

Dec 23, 2010

Winter is Here! It’s Time to Style That Facial Hair

This winter, forget the clean-shaven look of summer and sport the facial hair. Varying this aspect of your image during cold weather gives you several opportunities to mix things up. You’ll enjoy finding new cost-effective ways to reinvent yourself. Even better, you’ll find the ladies loving the new you.

Aug 21, 2010

Brew Review: Stella Artois

On the rare instance I make it to Happy Hour, my choice of beer is usually one that can take the edge off without being too expensive (and complex) or too cheap (and cheap-tasting). I'd say eight times out of ten, Stella Artois does the job. The pride of Belgium pours a light golden color with plenty of frothy head and bubbles; a grassy, citrus scent gives way to a smell of slightly skunked beer, which isn't very attractive to say the least. Still, its distinct stink is similar to almost every Euro Pale Lager I've encountered, so methinks its hereditary...

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Aug 9, 2008

COED Vault: The World Sexual Relationship Database

As far as W.H.O.M. (World Health Optimization Management) is concerned, it’s a great idea to publish the sexual history of...

The Big Hurt Told to Beat-it!

The Toronto Blue Jays released slumping designated hitter Frank Thomas Sunday, cutting the 19-year veteran loose one day after he...

Apr 21, 2008

Today is National High Five Day

If you’re up to snuff on your odd holidays, you should be aware that every third Thursday of April is...

Apr 17, 2008

Reversing the Curse: Red Sox Jersey Excavated From Yankee Stadium

In one of the funnier stories in sports, a construction worker/Yankee hater/Red Sox lover working on the Yankees new stadium...

Apr 14, 2008

Mar 31, 2008

“Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds” is a Great Way to Waste a Sunday

The Hot Shots Golf franchise keeps it real – real casual and goofy, that is. Often imitated and never duplicated...

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Mar 30, 2008

Audio Historians Discover First Tune Ever Recorded, Dating Back to 1860

One of the most legit news stories this month has been all but ignored by most media sources, or at...

Mar 26, 2008

Dr. Pepper to Axl Rose: Give Us “Democracy” and We Will Give Soda to All

In one of the most savvy marketing plans ever hatched, Dr. Pepper has promised a free can of soda to...

Mar 26, 2008

Lebron and Gisele’s Vogue Cover: Racist, or the Victim of a Really Slow News Day?

Rather than focusing on Lebron James being the first black man on the cover of Vogue (alongside supermodel Gisele Bundchen,...

Mar 25, 2008

Virginia Tech Settlement Package

So let’s assume you’re dead, and your school f**ked up and allowed it to happen through a lack of planning...

Mar 24, 2008

Suge Knight Returns to the Limelight, Lowers Entertainment Standards Worldwide

And here we go again, with that whole “keeping it real” adage that gangsta rap motherf***ing swears by. Death Row’s...

Mar 21, 2008

Brew Review: Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale

Being a New Hampshirian (?) at heart, Smuttynose is a beer I have fond memories of, even though I don’t...

Mar 21, 2008

Le Tabarnak is Le Tabarwack

Terrible title, I know. I realize this has been buzzed about for a few days now, but I have to...

Mar 20, 2008

Steve-O Seeks Salvation, Damns Drugs

From jail to rehab and everything in between, I had the impression that Jackass star Steve-O was just your run-of-the-mill...

Mar 19, 2008

Nintendo Wii’s “Dragon Quest Swords” Offers Up Cheap Thrills for the Unskilled

Right from the get-go, Dragon Quest Swords reminded me of Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest on the SNES, an often forgotten...

Mar 19, 2008

Boondock Saints Sequel in the Works

Sony Picture Studios has decided to go forward with a sequel to Boondock Saints, one of the most maligned and...

Mar 18, 2008

MGM Rolls Out Their Latest Schedule of Remakes, Including…Robocop?

Let’s get right down to business. From MGM’s press release: MGM is planning an exciting fall and winter release schedule....

Mar 18, 2008

American Airlines: Home to World Class Flights and Masturbating Passengers

Just when you thought it was safe to take a nap on a flight to L.A., some random guy has...

Mar 17, 2008

Quick Tips for St. Patrick’s Day

Unfortunately, St. Patrick’s Day this year falls on a Monday (today, if you so happened to forget) – so what?...

Mar 16, 2008

The Future is Now: Smart Goggles

We’re only a few months into 2008, and it’s already turning out to be quite the year for technological breakthroughs,...

Mar 14, 2008

Brew Review: Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR)

After trying many classy brews, it’s about time I reviewed an old standby of mine, Pabst Blue Ribbon. A pharmacy...

Mar 11, 2008

Sound Check: Snoop Dogg – “Ego Trippin'”

Snoop Dogg – Ego Trippin’ (2008) Ego Trippin’, Snoop Dogg’s 1,979th album in as many years (dog years?) has the...

Mar 10, 2008

Sharper Image Needs to Sell Everything

For Christmas I got a Sharper Image giftcard from my girlfriend’s parents. $100 is not too shabby, but at Sharper...

Mar 7, 2008

The Future is Now: Solar Robot Mower

With recent automotive and sexual breakthroughs in technology, we are finally on pace to live in a true blue (neon...

Mar 6, 2008

Brew Review: Modelo Especial

I cannot for the life of me understand why Modelo Especial gets a bad rap. Sure, the squat bottled brew...

Mar 6, 2008

MLB 2K8 is Hyper Technical, But Worth the Effort

I can’t lie: sports games have become far too technical in the past few years. I remember when Bases Loaded...

Mar 4, 2008

Sound Check: Nine Inch Nails – “Ghosts I-IV”

Following the blueprint laid down by Radiohead late last year, Nine Inch Nails have released Ghosts I-IV, a 4-disc instrumental...

Feb 29, 2008

Semi-Pro Fakes the Funk

Throw comedy everyman Will Ferrell into a zany project that deals with the rise and fall of a lovable idiot...

Feb 28, 2008

Brew Review: Old Speckled Hen

A local bar in NYC I stumbled into recently had Old Speckled Hen, an English Pale Ale I’ve never even...

Feb 28, 2008

Sound Check: Lenny Kravitz – It Is Time for a Love Revolution (2008)

Lenny Kravitz – It Is Time for a Love Revolution (2008) EZ-livin’ faceless rock for dads under 40, courtesy of...