COED Writer

John - USMA

Articles Written
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Dec 23, 2010

How To Cuddle Correctly

Even the most macho male can admit that cuddling in bed is pretty rad - unless your arm gets trapped underneath a pile of pillows, losing all blood circulation while your girl sleeps easy. I never thought somebody would have the brains or patience to solve this problem of all problems, but I was wrong: here is a list of superior snuggling tips.

Dec 23, 2010

Brew Review: Samuel Adams Winter Lager

When I'm holed up indoors during the winter months I find myself appreciating the taste of beer far more than any other season. Mark it up to cabin fever if you want, but my taste buds pucker up in cold weather. Samuel Adams Winter Lager, one of the brewing company's many great season-specific beers, doesn't disappoint in my constant need for a well-bodied, alcoholic beverage in cool weather.

Aug 21, 2010

Brew Review: Stella Artois

On the rare instance I make it to Happy Hour, my choice of beer is usually one that can take the edge off without being too expensive (and complex) or too cheap (and cheap-tasting). I'd say eight times out of ten, Stella Artois does the job. The pride of Belgium pours a light golden color with plenty of frothy head and bubbles; a grassy, citrus scent gives way to a smell of slightly skunked beer, which isn't very attractive to say the least. Still, its distinct stink is similar to almost every Euro Pale Lager I've encountered, so methinks its hereditary...

Mar 30, 2008

Audio Historians Discover First Tune Ever Recorded, Dating Back to 1860

One of the most legit news stories this month has been all but ignored by most media sources, or at...

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Mar 24, 2008

Suge Knight Returns to the Limelight, Lowers Entertainment Standards Worldwide

And here we go again, with that whole “keeping it real” adage that gangsta rap motherf***ing swears by. Death Row’s...

Brew Review: Smuttynose Old Brown Dog Ale

Being a New Hampshirian (?) at heart, Smuttynose is a beer I have fond memories of, even though I don’t...

Mar 21, 2008

Steve-O Seeks Salvation, Damns Drugs

From jail to rehab and everything in between, I had the impression that Jackass star Steve-O was just your run-of-the-mill...

Mar 20, 2008

Brew Review: Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR)

After trying many classy brews, it’s about time I reviewed an old standby of mine, Pabst Blue Ribbon. A pharmacy...

Mar 14, 2008

Mar 6, 2008

Brew Review: Modelo Especial

I cannot for the life of me understand why Modelo Especial gets a bad rap. Sure, the squat bottled brew...

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Feb 28, 2008

Brew Review: Old Speckled Hen

A local bar in NYC I stumbled into recently had Old Speckled Hen, an English Pale Ale I’ve never even...

Feb 21, 2008

Brew Review: Killian’s Irish Red

Killian’s Irish Red is located straight in the heart of beer purgatory, where snobbish types and casual drinkers alike don’t...

Feb 18, 2008

STD E-Cards are Great…Unless You’re Receiving One, Which is Totally NOT COOL

Congratulations! You have an STD! (Nope. That’s not funny at all.) What better way to celebrate the most unfortunate of...

Feb 14, 2008

Brew Review: Brooklyn Lager

Being a frequent traveler to New York (don’t worry, Red Sox/Pats/Celtics fans – I’m still a dedicated fan) I find...

Feb 8, 2008

Brew Review: Tecate

What goes well with food? Beer, of course. But what goes well with spicy and salty food? Tecate, of course…?...

Jan 23, 2008

Brew Review: Heineken Lager

People hate anything that’s average, so why settle for anything less than the best? Well, for starters, when money is...

Jan 22, 2008

Oscar Nominations are In

As expected, There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men lead the 2008 Oscar nominations. And seriously –...

Jan 21, 2008

Brew Review: Rolling Rock

When it comes to cheap beer, quality is as thin as the head most cheap ones provide. But there are...

Jan 17, 2008

Lasagna Cat is King

While it’s sure to go over the head of many viewers (due to relevance, not pretentiousness), the Garfield tributes by...

Jan 14, 2008

Golden Globes Winners’ List

I could rant on about the Golden Globes (or lack thereof), but when it comes down to it, you just...

Jan 9, 2008

Will the Academy Awards Suffer from WGA Strike?

We recently chimed in with our thoughts on the truncated Golden Globes, stating that the awards show is barely relevant...

Jan 8, 2008

Brew Review: Budweiser Chelada

Americanized versions of Cheladas (Mexican specialty beers that use lime and salt for a distinctive flavor) have yet to impress...

Jan 5, 2008

Get Classy with a XYXX Condom Case

Girls like dopey cute guys, but not the types that fumble around with condom wrappers and put the safety net...

Jan 4, 2008

Britney Spears Rushed to Hospital in Ambulance After Holding Her Kids Hostage

Has it finally happened? Are people finally ready to stop taking cheap shots at Britney Spears (both literally and figuratively)...

Jan 3, 2008

Brew Review: Harpoon Winter Warmer

The holidays are over, and the snow doesn’t look like lovely sheets of soft cotton stretched for miles anymore; it’s...

Jan 3, 2008

Love Mattress Cures “Spoon Arm,” Looks Naughty

The science of spooning is one that’s been left by the wayside for decades, leaving too many couples with aching...

Jan 3, 2008

“Rock Her World” Girl Wants More Money, Respect, Media Attention

Watch this video of a hot model faking an orgasm in a jewelry commercial: Now that we are up to...

Dec 20, 2007

Brew Review: Hitachino Nest Espresso Stout

I’ve been hearing all this talk about Espresso Stouts lately, so I decided to give them a shot…of espresso! Get...

Dec 19, 2007

Killer of Emily Sander aka “Zoey Zane” Captured!

After spending all day hearing about babies making babies and other fluff, it’s good to hear about something relevant and...

Dec 18, 2007

Peter Jackson is Returning to the Shire!

It’s official: Peter Jackson will executive produce not one but two Hobbit films that will be shot back-to-back (echoes of...

Dec 17, 2007

The Sixty One: Admirable, But Misses the Point

We live in a “you heard it here first” kind of world, where artists are hyped for all the wrong...

Dec 7, 2007

Brew Review: Samuel Adams Cream Stout

Do you like cream in your coffee? If so, you may be a fan of Samuel Adams Cream Stout, a...

Dec 4, 2007

Cox Across America

To promote his upcoming film, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, actor John C. Reilly will hit the road on...

Dec 3, 2007

Experience Total Relaxation When Urinating with the Toilet Headrest

It’s high-time at the local bar you’re attending. You’ve been pounding beers all night and have called on the almighty...