COED Writer

Johnson - Florida

Articles Written
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Dec 22, 2011

13 Movie Characters We’d DIE To Be… Even Though They Actually Die

Movie characters just have cooler lives than us. We sit around cubicles pounding out TPS reports while they drive fast cars, woo ungodly hot women, and laugh at authority and danger. I, on the other hand, drive a Prius, watch porn, and obey crosswalks. There's a reason millions of people pay to see them, while I couldn't pay a homeless man $100 to watch a 24 hour video of my life. Sometimes movie characters are so awesome that we would trade our own miserable lives with theirs, even though they croak at the end of the movie. Check out our list of characters we would die to trade places with even though they met their maker prematurely.

Nov 11, 2011

The 8 Types of People Who Need Corrupting

There will always be those people out there that are just too good to be true. They'll make you look bad just because they're that innocent. More often than not, they just make me nauseous, but every so often they're trying to cover up the absolute evil within. With me, you know where I stand: I'm just a flat-out d*ck. I haven't raped children, nor have I gone around preaching to people that "God hates f*gs" while I secretly attend crystal-meth fueled homosexual orgies. I'm not saying that these 8 types of people have, I'm just saying they need to stop being so uptight. Trust me guys, it's more fun.

Nov 4, 2011

Been Pimpin’ Since Infancy: History’s Youngest Rulers

November 4th is King Tut Day. On this day in 1922, his tomb was discovered. While most cokeheads perk up at the mention of Tutankhamun, the 18th Century pharaoh was mostly known for being young as sh*t when he assumed dominion. When you think of Kings, Emperors, Presidents, Czars; these titles invoke visions of distinction, maturity, grey hair, and arthritis. Leadership and power have a tendency to develop with age and experience. However, there have been anomalies to this stream of succession. In honor of today (11/4) being King Tut Day, here's a list of rulers that ran an Empire after getting their dose of Saturday morning cartoons.