COED Writer

Andrew - Hunter College

Articles Written
83
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LATEST ARTICLES WRITTEN
Feb 20, 2011

Battle of the Brown Spirits: Scotch Vs. Whisky

For many drink enthusiasts, Scotch and Bourbon stand strongest at opposite ends of the “brown spirit” battlefield. To the West, the sweet punch to the face of Bourbon, America’s whiskey; to the East, Scotch whisky — a deep, smoky Highland warrior.

Dec 22, 2010

The 9 High School Classmates You’ll Run Into Over Winter Break

You're done with classes, you can sleep in till noon without repercussion and chances are you're going to end up at the bar downtown, one of these nights - if you haven't just camped out there already. That means running into pretty much every person you went to high school with who you haven't talked to since graduation day. If you're not careful, things can get weird before you can say "Remember that time in pre-calc...". So here's a quick guide to the 9 types of high school classmates you'll run into over winter break to help you keep your cool.

Dec 4, 2010

9 Fool-Proof Excuses for Not Buying Christmas Gifts

If you're like me, Christmas sneaks up on you like a ninja. And when Christmas day comes along, you're stuck looking like the family asshole. So to get out of the dog house this year, here are nine fool-proof excuses for not having any gifts from you under the tree.

Nov 27, 2010

Should You Get a Dog?

Unless you are a cat guy, being a dog owner can be one of the most satisfying experiences a person can have. They provide unrivaled companionship, entertainment and someone to talk to who won't go off and tell everyone your embarrassing sh*t. So if you're thinking about getting a dog, here are a few things I've learned and think you should consider before you take the plunge.

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Nov 13, 2010

Dear Condom Companies, Your Packaging Sucks

Yet few products in life (aside from brakes, rope, fire hydrants and weaponry) need to work in the heat of the moment more than the condom.

10 Totally Selfish Reasons It Sucks to Get a DUI

Drunk driving kills or injures tens of thousands of people every year, ruining families and destroying lives. But it's not just others who suffers from drinking and driving - it's mostly you. So that you can get an idea of how much it actually sucks, here are 10 totally selfish (but totally valid) reasons it sucks to get a DUI.

10 Summer Beer Cocktails That Don’t Suck

With summer just around the corner, it's time to start thinking about how you're going to quench that thirst for the next three months. So instead of going with the same old mixed drinks you've been drinking since freshman year, we've put together of a list of delicious beer cocktails that will definitely add some "Ahhhhh" to your summer fun.

10 Things From Your Twenties You’ll Regret When You’re Forty

Don't get me wrong - being young and having fun is as important as anything in life. But assuming you live past the age of 28, there are a few things that you just can't get away with, without reaping some serious consequences. Here are the top 10 things you do when you're young that, when looking back, make you wonder how you could have been such a complete and total dumbass. (Image used courtesy of The Lizard Man)

Nov 11, 2009

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2: The Craziest Sh*t You’ve Ever Seen [Video]

You know people are always talking about how video games make people more violent and all that drivel? Bullsh*t, right? Well, after watching this video of a level from the new, hottest video game on the market, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, you might be singing a different tune. But regardless of where you stand on the issue, something tells me this level is going to cause quite an uproar.

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Oct 21, 2009

Niki G & Niki C of LA Temptation Give Us the Nitty Gritty on the LFL

As you probably already know, we here at COED are big fans of the Lingerie Football League. There's just something about seeing super hot models go at each other in their underwear that does something special for us. So when we got the chance to speak with Niki Ghazian and Niki Connor of the LA Temptations, we could barely contain ourselves. We chatted about everything from football to naked group showers.

Oct 16, 2009

Bill Pullman to Play Father in Inevitable Upcoming “Balloon Boy” Movie

We're past this whole "Was the Balloon Boys story a hoax" nonsense. Obviously, it's all bullsh*t. And if you think it might not be bullsh*t, all you have to do is watch this video of the father releasing the g*ddamn balloon to know that it's a hoax. Now that we have that resolved, let's move on to bigger things: Who's going to play who in inevitable upcoming Hollywood biopic...

Oct 16, 2009

Balloon Boy Falcon Heene Barfs On Today Show [Video]

After discovering that the "Balloon Boy," who was allegedly floating around at around 7000 feet in a giant, homemade helium contraption, was actually just hiding in the garage, the news shows went crazy booking the whole family for an interview. But during this segment with Wolf Blitzer, the boy, Falcon (really, that's his name) admits that "We did this for the show."

Oct 15, 2009

World’s Drunkest Man Tries to Buy Beer [Video]

The funny thing about drinking is that the drunker you get, the more drunk you WANT to get. And before you know it, you're face down in a gutter with a condom sticking out of your butt. Or, in this guy's case, you stumble to the gas station to buy more beer and get caught on tape failing at everything you try to do.

Oct 10, 2009

How to Get Kicked in The Face [Video]

Only about the first 15 seconds of this video are interesting. But because it's in French, it takes another minute and 45 seconds to provide the context. So if you only want to watch the super sweet part, here's what happens: One dude tries to pull some lame prank on a passerby in a hat. The prankster takes off running, right past another random dude, who just happens to be awesome at karate. Now, watch.

Oct 6, 2009

The 15 Biggest Internet Jackasses of All-Time

The Internet is literally filled with jackasses. Their misfortunes and apparent retardation are a large part of what keeps people coming back. So to narrow it down to only 15 might be a bit audacious. But that doesn't mean we can't try. Here are the 15 people we here at COED think deserve a spot in the history books under "Biggest Internet Jackasses of All-time." Enjoy.

Aug 12, 2009

WTF Is He Doing to That Donkey? [Video]

I know that in other countries and other cultures they do somethings differently than we do here in the United States. But what I did not know was that one of those things includes walking on a donkey. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch (I'm looking at you PETa), I think the donkey is, um, getting a massage.

Aug 10, 2009

How to Fail a DUI Test [Video]

If you've been drinking, the best course of action is to just stay put (and hopefully hook up with a hot chick.) What you should NOT do is get in a car, suck at driving, get pulled over, and then proceed to do everything exactly opposite to what the cop is asking you to do.

Aug 8, 2009

Kid Solves Rubik’s Cube, While Playing Guitar Hero… on Expert [Video]

All you wussies who think you're badass because you can play Guitar Hero on "expert" are about to get taken down a notch - because this kid can do it while solving a g*ddamn Rubik's cube!! Of course, he's probably never kissed a girl, but that's just because they don't know his skills...

Aug 7, 2009

Top 10 Batsh*t Crazy Paula Abdul Replacements

The big news across Twitter, the Interwebs and every other celebrity gossip site this past week is that Paula Abdul...

Aug 7, 2009

All Strippers, All The Time

This morning, we came across what has to be the sweetest internet radio station of all-time: 1015thepole.com. No, you're not going to find your favorite indie bands on here, you f**king hipsters. What you are going to get is non-stop stripper tunes that'll send you straight back to that night you got the clap. I mean, the name of the radio station is The Pole! Jesus Christ...

Aug 7, 2009

Dad’s Birthday Prank Goes Horribly Wrong [Video]

Pranks are funny, aren't they? I mean, the person might get a little bit embarrassed by the surprise shaming you deliver them, but you get a good bit of laughs. And if you catch the whole thing on video, then you get to relieve the hilariousness over and over. But when this happens, everybody on the Internet is going to be reliving it right along with you...

Aug 6, 2009

Craziest Slip ‘n Slide Stunt, Ever! [Video]

When you're a kid, there's really nothing better than a Slip 'n Slide on a hot day. Even when you're an adult, the idea of speeding along across a wet strip of plastic seems pretty appealing. But when you have the biggest balls ever, your Slip 'n Slide has to be a) monstrous, b) have a giant f**king ramp and c) have the scariest landing of all-time. You know, like this guy...

Jul 29, 2009

Top 5 Fast Food Restaurants That Will Make You Scared to Fart

Man, do we love fast food. It's cheap, it's delicious and it satisfies every self-hating cell in your body with highly processed, corporately created concoctions that any man, woman or child can enjoy.But if you're anything like me, such easily acquired satisfaction comes at a cost... in the form of nearly crapping your pants. Here are the Top 5 Fast Food Restaurants That Will Make You Scared to Fart.

Jul 29, 2009

Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Creating Her Own Comic Book

When you think of comic books, the first thing that comes to mind is probably not the star of "The Ghost Whisperer." But that's all about to change as life-long super-hottie, Jennifer Love Hewitt is starting her own comic book. Harking back to her I Know What You Did Last Summer days, Hewitt's 10-issue comic series, "The Music Box" will be focused around a "an old-fashioned device with an ugly history."

Jul 27, 2009

AT&T Is (Still) a Bunch of Punkasses

We here at COED have long thought that AT&T was a giant pile of steaming sh*t, based purely on our cell phone service: constant dropped calls, disappearing voicemail, geriatric-like 3G speeds in New York. But it seems the retarded behemoth of communication has now pissed off pretty much everyone by effectively censoring the Internet.

Jul 23, 2009

6 Kick Ass Canadian Club Cocktails

While my favorite way to drink whisky is warm and neat, that's a hard beverage to stomach during the scorching-hot summer months. So to help you cool down, while still keeping whisky solidly in your diet, the best way to go is the cocktail. My two favorite whiskies to mix are Canadian Club 10-year-old and 12-year-old. These two refreshing yet flavorful spirits go great with a wide variety of mixers. Here are the 6 Canadian Club cocktails I think kick the most ass.

Jul 20, 2009

Spencer Pratt Is Going to Be a Rapper?

Sorry, guys. I know doing a post about Spencer Pratt is pretty lame, being that he's one of the world's biggest assclowns, just after Dane Cook and the ESPN lawyers that are keeping you from watching the Erin Andrews peephole video. And his douchiness just gets that much more intense, since he just announced, in an interview with Spin magazine, that he's launching a rap career.

Jul 13, 2009

The Home Run Derby Drinking Game

Tonight, Major League Baseball's biggest hitters will come out for the overhyped, glorified batting practice we all know and love: The Home Run Derby, 2009. So to add some extra juice to the bat-bash, the good folks at HomRunDerby.com have put together the quintessential Derby drinking game. This thing will leave you so sloshed, you'll start stumbling around like the Mets.

Jul 13, 2009

Black Metal Idol [Video]

I can understand why someone would want to be on one of these "Idol" shows, with their possibility of fame and fortune. But when you're choosing your audition piece, I have absolutely no F'ing clue what would prompt someone into thinking that shrieking a g*ddamn black metal song will get you anywhere but YouTube.

Jul 11, 2009

World’s Fastest Everything [Video]

Generally speaking, the faster something is, the better: pitches, cars, death, girls. And I have to say I agree with that sentiment. Especially after watching this video of the "World's Fastest Everything." Of course, it doesn't actually include everything, but that's not to say it doesn't try...

Jul 10, 2009

WTF Friday: Peek-a-Boo

I know it's wrong to make fun of people for things that they can't help. But damnit, I just can't help myself! I mean, it's not my fault that this woman looks like a bug-eyed park goblin, lurking behind trees, waiting to breath heavily on innocent people. Somebody's got to stand up to this kind of threat. And I'm willing to take the blame for being an asshole, and just call a spade a spade. You're welcome.

Jul 9, 2009

Gamer Grip: The BIGS 2

Despite the fact that I've been playing and reviewing video games for years, I seriously, seriously suck at baseball games. Watching me play MLB 2K9 would send any serious sports-game fan into an uncontrollable fit of rage from my complete and total lack of skills. And that's why I like The BIGS 2. Building on The BIGS franchise, The BIGS 2's over-the-top, arcade-style game play can cover-up even the worst player's half-assed attempt at seeming athletic.

Jul 7, 2009

South Carolina Sheriffs Want to Legalize Marijuana

Calls for the legalization and decriminalization of marijuana grew louder this week, coming from a highly unlikely group: the police. In a 180-degree shift in position, South Carolina Law Enforcement Division agents, along with police chiefs and elected sheriffs from around the state announced their support for the legalization and taxation of marijuana.