Man Hilariously Fakes Getting Stood Up On Valentine’s Day To Score Free Steak Dinner

On Valentine’s Day, a man named Stephen Bonser became an absolute legend on social media. Going by the Twitter handle @baconflavoring, Bonser decided to document a hilarious prank that scored him a free steak dinner from Outback Steakhouse.

According to Bonser, he went to the restaurant — which had a 45-minute wait for tables — dressed in a slick button-up top and blazer.

From there, he pretended to call a “date” before acting like he got stood up.

The end result was a free meal from a couple at the bar who felt second-hand embarrassment for what they thought was a tragic Valentine’s Day tale.

“If I went to Outback Steakhouse by myself tonight and asked for a table for 2, then got progressively sadder as the night went on alone,” Bonser teased in a post on Twitter, “do you think they’d give me my steak for free?”

From there, the incredible tale began.

got my table pic.twitter.com/8KdypncH31

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

And yes, he really was looking all dapper for a date night with himself.

in case you were wondering whether I’m taking this seriously…

y’all. i wore a suit jacket. pic.twitter.com/Xlae1xXQxi

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

Once he had his table, he began ordering some booze.

Bonser says he told the waiter that his “date” loved chardonnay so he ordered a glass of that, while also scoring himself an ice-cold Blue Moon. Bonser even went as far as to pretend he was leaving voicemails as the waiter walked by to really sell his prank.

i just pretended to leave a voicemail saying “I’m here, let me know when you’re on your way” as my waiter walked by

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

And, of course, he had to crush the loaf of bread while he was waiting.

finished the first loaf of bread pic.twitter.com/2BnCMMm2I4

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

Bonser even went as far as wrapping up a fake gift to bring along with him.

“When I parked, I took the jumper cables in my trunk out of the bag they came in and stuff some shoebox paper I had in the backseat into it to make it look like a bought a present,” he tweeted. Absolutely brilliant.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my love” pic.twitter.com/juSnmtXNmn

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

From there, it was another loaf of bread to the face and the glass of chardonnay as he began selling his despair and disappointment.

it’s 9:45. the kitchen closes in 15 minutes. i’m going to wait until my waiter comes by and i’m gonna finish the wine in one swig from the decanter – no glass necessary

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

“hello darkness my old friend” pic.twitter.com/2i6rQS260j

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

What followed next was another fake voicemail, and ultimately the steak dinner.

audio of a fake voicemail I just left in earshot of anyone still at the bar pic.twitter.com/LfIttzT3u6

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

steak’s here. blue cheese crumbles melted on top. restaurant’s closed. how long can I stare into the distance before taking a bite? pic.twitter.com/w7bhvIAyne

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

The end result? A free meal.

UPDATE: a couple at the bar paid for my meal for me.

this mission?

SUCCESSFUL.

— Phteven (@baconflavoring) February 15, 2019

If you feel like that may be a scummy thing to do, don’t worry. Bonser claims he donated what he would have spent on the meal to the ALCU.

From the Washington Post:

His sister egged him on, telling him that she would pay for his meal on Thursday if the restaurant didn’t. Three hours later, Bonser was waiting by the host stand at the Outback Steakhouse in Arlington, dressed in a fresh blazer and button-down shirt and carrying a poorly wrapped present.

“I figured that I’m getting a free steak either way,” he told The Washington Post later that night. “It would be fiscally irresponsible not to do it.”

What an epic Valentine’s Day tale, and a true story of self-love.

Kudos to you, young legend.

[H/T: Bro Bible]

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