The Evolution Of Jonah Hill: A COED Investigation

Forget about Keeping Up With The Kardashians, have you ever actually tried keeping up with Jonah Hill?? It’s next-level entertainment, similar to  Keeping up with the Kardashians, but for intellectuals and twice the drama.
First off, if you don’t already know Jonah Hill, he’s been in a lot of things, Superbad, Moneyball, Knocked Up, Wolf of Wall Street, etc., but due to his constant metamorphosis, you likely wouldn’t recognize him if you passed him on the street. For all I know, the picture above could be wildly outdated or scarily up to date; he’s unpredictable like that. Nevertheless, let’s analyze the evolution of Jonah Hill as best we can (feel free to make a drinking game out of his dynamic image or whatever).

Superbad Era Jonah Hill – 2007


In the beginning, Jonah Hill burst into the public eye after starring in the Judd Apatow-produced, Seth Rogen-written movie Superbad in 2007. He was a chubby, curly-haired, lovable underdog. He was pure of heart and round of body. Hill embodied the jolly fat man character in his films and lived the life of one on his own time.

Peak Of The Hill – 2009 – 2010

As his career continued to expand, so did his waistline, at almost proportional rates. This year, he starred in Funny People and The Invention of Lying. Clocking in at 270lbs, Jonah Hill was Hollywood’s certified comedy fat man. And accordingly, his characters stayed relatively the same as well.


In 2010 Jonah resumed his natural form.


The Weight’s Over: ESPY’s 2011

Jonah Hill revealed his first results of dramatic weight loss in 2011 at the ESPY awards. He had just lost 40lbs and flaunted his new figure aside professional athletes. This was the same year he starred in Moneyball – use Hill’s character in that movie for reference (below). In my humble opinion, I think he looks healthier when he’s fatter.


Jonah Hill: The Return Of The Weight 2012

You guessed it, he starts to get fat again, but more subtly this time.


Wolf Of Wall Street: 2013

Here we go again. The role didn’t require it, but Hill used his creative license for the Wolf Of Wall Street and started bulking up again. Presto! We got old Jonah back!

May 2015 – 2016: War Dogs

Nom Nom Nom Nom. Jonah was really back at it here; he put on 40 lbs while filming War Dogs. In his case, the camera adds more than 10 lbs – the beard doesn’t help either. The movie was released in 2016, and he’s even fatter then.


Jonah’s Final Form: 2017

After War Dogs led him down a dangerous but familiar path of weight gain, Hill turned to 21 Jump Street co-star and sex-machine, Channing Tatum for weightloss advice. With Tatum’s help, rigorous calculations, experiments, and consultations on nutrition and dieting, Hill concluded that if he ate less, he’d lose the weight.
He told Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show, “I called Channing Tatum and said, ‘Hey, if I ate less and go to a trainer, will I get in better shape?'”
Tatum responded with, “Yes, you dumb motherf–er, of course you will. It’s the simplest thing in the entire world.”

Rennaisance period: 2018

The latest update in the Jonah Hill saga is still developing. He posted this picture on Instagram recently, and from the looks of things, he’s managed to keep off most of the weight. His current status, however, is eerily reminiscent of 2011 – 2012 Jonah, and if history has taught us anything, he’s headed for another relapse. So long as he doesn’t sign up for War Dogs 2, he should be in the clear for the next several months or so.
His current weight is unknown, so place your bets.

MTV Movie & TV Awards 2018: Nominees & Predictions
MTV Movie & TV Awards 2018: Nominees & Predictions
  • 10678531520930918