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In this week’s edition of “predictable news”, we have these two dudes who were arrested at the Bonnaroo music festival in Manchester, Tennessee over the weekend for both possessing and selling a ridiculous amount of drugs.
Dalton James Subbert, 23, and Michale John Feehan, 26, — prized exports of Minnesota — were likely discussing the merits of running year-round garage sales that only sell weird vintage knives when Coffee County Sheriff’s Investigator Brandon Reed saw a bag of weed openly chilling on the center console of their car. Reed decided to have a “little talk” with the pair and searched the vehicle, which probably entailed accidentally knocking over a can of Monster filled with piss. Coffee County’s finest, we salute you.
All together, the deputies found approximately 10 oz of mushrooms packed in 60 bags, 7 bottles of acid, approximately 2 oz Ketamine in 56 bags, 21 grams of marijuana in 7 bags, 1,100 hits of acid, approximately 9 marijuana gummies, 1 bag of marijuana wax, ½ gram in 2 bags of Molly, 3 Xanax pills and 24 unknown white pills. Also, allegedly found were 2 sets of digital scales, 2 marijuana pipes, and baggies along with $7,698 in cash in various denominations.
Since this was the last day of the festival, these were most likely just the leftovers that they couldn’t sell, so who knows how much they brought in when they arrived. It’s honestly impressive that they got as far as they did, considering that they look like characters from the parts of Go Ask Alice that scare little girls into not smoking weed until high school. However, that feat was overshadowed ten times over when they essentially invited the cops to a car full of drugs by leaving out a bag of a substance that virtually no one would’ve cared about if they made the slightest effort to hide it.
The lovely couple was charged with four counts of manufacturing/delivering/selling/possession of controlled substance, schedule I and VI drug violations and unlawful drug paraphernalia uses and activities. Subbert was also charged with six counts of being a white guy with dreadlocks.
It would be easy to roast these guys more (this mugshot of Subbert from only three years ago is especially tempting), but that would be kicking two dead horses that each has to pay a $39,500 bond. Let’s just all pray for the dogs that undoubtedly sit with Subbert and Feehan in front of closed dive bars as they drink ’40s out of paper bags.
Moral of the story: don’t judge a book by its cover … unless it has these guys’ faces on it, in which case you totally should.
