Avoid Conflict And Buy Some Festive St. Patty’s Day Merch

St. Patrick’s Day is a time for drinking, companionship, and judging the hell out of people for their choice of clothes. It’s like a combination of Halloween and Christmas mass. Pretty much anything goes, but there are also strict guidelines to follow. Incorporating green is a necessity. Check that box and you’re good to let the imagination run wild via costumes, kilts, top hats, etc. If not, it’s like wearing an undershirt and shorts to the Lord’s big bday party. Your grandparents and the hypercritical altar boys will give you dirty looks and spit at you.

If you don’t wear green on Saint Patty’s day you may get more than a judgmental look and honked loogie. You may get some good ol’ fashioned gang warfare. All the Saint’s men and women rep green and it is within their right to scold and pinch anyone who doesn’t. It’s an odd, passive-aggressive tactic for Godfather Patrick, but hey, I don’t mean no disrespect. I’m on your side. The winning side. For all the non-conformist, anti-green folk, it’s an impossible fight to fight. I don’t want to start conspiracies here, but I’ve seen a couple cops wearing green in the past. This thing may be bigger than just a couple gangs clashing over territory. Hell, this one may even go all the way to the mayor.

Join the winning side this weekend, and get yourself some classic stereotypical Irish merch.

via Spreadshirt

Spreadshirt

via Amazon

Amazon

via Etsy

Etsy

via Party City

Party City

via Party City

Party City

via Party City

Party City

 

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