You wake up just like any other morning. It’s February 14th, and by the looks of it, this day won’t be half bad. You try not to wake up your significant other as you spring out of bed. Success! You notice the weather appears to be unseasonably warm and you think about wearing short sleeves to work. In February no less! Your morning bathroom break isn’t too long but long enough to be meaningful, and your shower stayed at perfect temp throughout. No in-bath adjustments today!
Something feels different about this day and you like it. Hey, check it out! You’re significant other made you a breakfast smoothie with a charming note on it, “Hey, luv u.” God, they’re the best, huh? As you’re slugging down a wonderful blend of yogurt, strawberry, and surprisingly ripe kiwi, it hits you…
A wave of panic and smoothie overflow creeps in. It gets in your eyes. You close them – damn that kiwi juice stings. You see visions of fancy restaurant reservations and other gifts that require more punctual planning. They’re bouncing around and laughing at you. Taunting you. You open your eyes and shout, “Begone imaginary presents! Do not torment me! For it is Valentine’s Day and I am woefully underprepared.”
Fear not, procrastinators. Here’s a list of ideas for last-minute situations that range anywhere from ‘it’s-still-morning-so-I-have-some-time’ to… ‘dear-god-I’m-on-my-way-home-and-may-fake-the-death-of-a-relative-to-get-myself-out-of-this-mess.’
Plans For Vacation
All you need is a destination idea and a printer so you can provide something tangible. Tangibility is key. An email with pictures of a cottage and ski resort is obviously infinitely worse than printed pictures. So print out some nice pics and maybe throw in a few handwritten love notes in the margins. Something like, “Our relationship is like a snowflake… Cold, and will eventually melt into nothingness.” Or something better than that. Actually, don’t do that one.
In case you don’t have them already, any of these subscriptions would make a great, quick gift, and would be sure to get plenty of use. Let the likes of New Girl, The Office, Parks And Rec and unlimited feel-good music save you from your pending Valentines doom.
One Week Of Blue Apron, Hello Fresh, and Plated
There’s no immediate satisfaction with this one, but it works. It’s like making a treehouse with your SO except if you could eat that treehouse. Building a hobby while bonding out the wazoo. There’s also super cheap first-week discounts for all three so buying one of each isn’t too pricey.
Is this the most original option? No, of course not. That’s a silly rhetorical question. And while we’re at it – neither is Netflix and Blue Apron. The beauty lies in the effectiveness of these ideas. They work, they’re timely, and they’re almost so corny that it’s cool. Irony is so hot right now and Edible Arrangements last-minute gifts are no exception. This one would also pair very well with the final idea…
Homemade Dinner Adorned With Rose Pedals And Other Fancy Decor
This one takes a little more time but it’s achievable and absolutely worth it. First, you need to get out of work early. Shoot your special someone a text to the effect of, “Hey, come home late.” Be more creative and discrete though. Everything else you need should be at the grocery store: flowers (dedicate half for pedaling purposes), a candle (to complete the “fancy decor” element), a card (something innocent and funny – classic example), the ingredients for a nice delicate lemon and ricotta spaghetti, Lindor Truffles, and wine. You’ll need two hours of prep time but it’ll make up for the two weeks of procrastination so I don’t wanna hear it.
Do one of these and you’re saved. Do all and you’re eternal.