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Tyga’s New Girl Jordan Ozuna Is, Yet Again, WAY Out Of His League


Am I tripping? Is this some kind of Twilight Zone / Lost type universe? Because last time I checked, Tyga hasn’t been relevant since, like, 2011, and yet here he is slaying ANOTHER dime way out of his league.

After a couple of years of being the lucky dude who got to go home with Kylie Jenner (I mean, yeah, he did probably hook up with her before she was of legal age, so there’s that), Tyga finally got his broke ass kicked to the curb.

I was HOPING that Kylie dumping him would be enough to remove Tyga from the face of the earth, but yet here I am, still writing about him.

Tyga’s newest rumored dime, 24-year-old Instagram model Jordan Ozuna, is just the latest woman who seems to be inexplicably stooping down to Tyga’s level. If women like this are going to be star f*ckers, they should be going for the heavy hitters like Drake, J. Cole, etc. Not whack as Tyga, who had ONE good song ONCE (and also kind of looks like a black mole rat).

But hey, that’s what some money can do for ya.

God, goals, growing and glowing

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  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -