The 2017 Academy Awards are almost upon us and this year, just a month after Donald Trump‘s inauguration, is sure to be extra insufferable thanks to the politically charged speeches we will be forced to endure. However, we have one foolproof way to make sure you’re able to survive Oscars night with your sanity intact: The 2017 Academy Awards Drinking Game (we can’t promise your bladder will stay intact).
You are allowed to designate any amount that is comfortable as “one drink.” Whether that be a shot, a sip, or an entire glass, it’s up to you. Whatever you go with will be the one drink amount for the night (remember, you have work the next day).
Donald Trump Rules
- One drink for sly references to Trump. That includes generic phrases like: “In today’s world,” “In this current climate,” etc. This also includes nods to walls, immigrants, legislature, media, etc.
- Two drinks for slightly more specific references like “The White House,” “This administration,” “The government,” etc.
- Three drinks for any direct name dropping of Donald Trump.
- One drink for a winner being played off by music for taking too long during their speech.
- Two drinks anytime you spot visible tears on a celeb’s face.
- Three drinks if the camera shows a celebrity and no one you are watching with can correctly identify them.
In Memoriam Montage
- Waterfall: We lost so many amazing people this year that the ‘In Memoriam’ montage deserves constant drinking. Starting with the person who is farthest away from the TV, everyone will drink until the person to your right stops.
- One drink every time the following cliches are said: “so, so brave,” “the brave men and women,” “dreams come true,” “I’d like to thank my parents/husband/wife/etc.,” “Don’t play me off!” “I was just a lonely little kid…,” “You are my rock,”
- One drink if Jimmy includes Matt Damon in any way, shape, or form.
- One drink if Jimmy does a fake movie trailer.
- One drink if Jimmy mentions his infant daughter.
- One drink if no one laughs at a joke during the opening monologue.
There ya go, folks. Have a great time and please drink responsibly…or not. I’m not your mother.