magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

Connecticut Town Rationally Reminds Citizens Not To Open Their Doors To ‘Unfamiliar Cattle’

via Suffield Police

via Suffield Police

When I was a little, I always told my mom I wanted to be a cop. Not a cool, Bruce Willis-esque hero cop, but more of a Kevin James type of suburban cop. Even as a kid, I could tell that suburban cops have it made. Write a couple of speeding tickets, bust teenagers’ balls over a gram of bud, break up the occasionally domestic disturbance. In fact, I’m pretty sure cops in my childhood hometown clear about $100k a year. Do that for 20-25 years then cash out with a fat pension. Minimal risk, high reward.

This is another example of the type of child’s play suburban cops have to deal with. Police from Suffield, a small Connecticut town, had to remind everyone “to NEVER open your doors to any unfamiliar cattle.”

Via Western Mass News:

Suffield Police were originally called to the area of North Street/Rt. 75 after a vehicle driving by saw “some cows walking on the side of the road and in people’s yards,” Sgt. Geoffrey Miner said.

When officers pulled up to the scene, they found the cows standing outside of a home, right at the front door.

“The cows got out because part of the fence was broken.  It’s an electrical wire fence, electricity was off, one of the wires was broken, so plenty of opportunity to escape,” added Miner.

Cows, let it be known if you ever rang my doorbell, I’d happily open. It’s not every day that a cow shows up on your doorstep, so that’s gotta be some kind of good luck.

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -