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Donald Trump Forcing Chris Christie’s Fat Ass To Order The Meatloaf Is The Best Thing He’s Done Yet

 (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

(Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

As a Jersey kid, I’ve been on the ‘F*ck Chris Christie’ bandwagon since long before the rest of the nation found out how much of a clown he is. Back before that whole bridge scandal, Christie was actually considered one of the Republicans’ top candidates. But people in Jersey knew better.

So now that Christie has become the national punching bag that he is, I’m enjoying every goddamn second of it. He was the first Republican nominee to back Trump, which is an all-time bitch move. Like, dude, we all know you got smoked and are now merely sucking up so you can get a cabinet position. Then he stood behind Trump, looking like he was being held hostage. He was later booted from Trump’s transition team and ended up with no spot on the cabinet at all. Needless to say, Christie’s fall from grace has been a blast for your boy. (Disclaimer: My mom is a New Jersey teacher and Christie really f*cks around with their union, hence my disgust for him. Fat f*ck.)

Anyway, Christie recently visited the White House, where he continued to act like a frightened puppy dog. According to NBC, Donald Trump literally decided what Christie was going to be eating during his White House visit. Dude isn’t even man enough to order his own food.

The Republican governor said while guest hosting a New York sports talk radio show Thursday that Trump pointed out the menu and told people to get whatever they want. Then he insisted he and Christie were going to have the meatloaf.

“This is what it’s like to be with Trump,” Christie said. “He says, ‘There’s the menu, you guys order whatever you want.’ And then he says, ‘Chris, you and I are going to have the meatloaf.'”

To be fair, Christie is essentially the human equivalent of meatloaf, so it’s got that ‘full circle’ kind of feel to it.

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -