Tostitos Made A Bag Of Chips That Will Give You Uber Money If It Knows You’re Drunk

I’ve never been a fan of unnecessary futuristic technology (and yes, I’m 100% considering this f*cking bag that senses alcohol as technological), but this is something I can get on board with. Tostitos, holla at us and we’ll write you some dope reviews. Sure, I may just want the bags so I can spill a bunch of beer on them and rack up the Uber bucks, but we don’t need to tell anyone.

Does it bother me that a plastic bag knows if I’ve been on the bottle? Sure. But it also bothers me that the government listens to our phone calls, and I’ve learned to live with that. Sometimes a little invasion of privacy is a necessary evil, especially when we’re talking about saving some money. Uber’s straight ruthless out here with their surges, so every dollar I can bank is a win in my book, no matter the cost.

Via The Verge:

Created in partnership with creative agency Goodby Silverstein & Partners, the Tostitos Party Bag is outfitted with sensors to detect alcohol on a person’s breath.

If you’re in the clear, the bag turns green and you’re free to go about your night. If alcohol is detected, the bag turns red with the message, “Don’t drink and drive,” and offers a $10 Uber credit for a discounted ride home. It’s even got near-field communication technology that lets you tap your phone to the bag to hail the ride, if you’re that blasted.

This bag is not a breathalyzer. It does not tell you what your estimated blood alcohol content levels are or know how much you’ve had to drink, and only detects whether any trace of alcohol exists at all.

Here’s my plan: I’m going to buy these chips for my Super Bowl party, unload all of the chips into a communal bowl, and keep the packages for myself. Hoboken’s a small city and every Uber I take is around $6.50, so with like, I don’t know, 10 bags of Tostitos, I’d have enough money for three, maybe four months of Uber rides.

Anyway, enjoy this laid back technology while you can, because it’s almost time the serious tech becomes aware. I give it another forty years.

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