Is nothing sacred anymore? Can’t rich athletes sleep with thirsty groupies without getting the details of their manhood blasted into the airwaves? These athletes are going to have to start making these chicks sign NDAs.
While appearing on a radio show called“Hollywood Unlocked,” Jason Lee asked Instagram model Elizabeth Ruiz if the Denver Broncos’ Von Miller had a “big weenie.” Ruiz, who was in a sex tape with Miller, has moved on from beefing with the linebacker to publicly shaming a wide receiver instead. That poor receiver is none other than Washington’s DeSean Jackson.
While there is no sex tape between the two, Ruiz still felt the need to comment on Jackson’s genetics.
“I mean I can tell you who has a small one,” Ruiz said.
“…DeSean Jackson,” she responded. “Man, he’s built like an Asian.”
Cold-blooded shit right there.
Quick advice to the professional athletes of the world, you should probabblyyyy stop smashing Elizabeth Ruiz: she’ll either blackmail you with a sex tape or tell the entire world you have a tiny ding dong. Lose, lose scenario, especially considering Ruiz is no better than a 7.5.
And of course, whenever I can work a Seinfeld, South Park, or Chappelle’s Show reference into an article, you bet your ass I will. Today’s winner is Chappelle’s Show — the sketch where he makes women sign a ‘love contract.’