magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

Funny & Heartwarming Quotes For Christmas Cards

Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Now that the winter solstice has passed, we are getting dangerously close to Christmas. I hope you’ve gotten all of your shopping done, so can sit back and enjoy the holiday. It’s a total nightmare fighting the crowds this time of year, struggling your ass off like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle All the Way. That’s not a fate I’d wish on my worst enemy.

If everything has been taken care of, you might as well take some time to peruse this quote gallery. We’ve got funny, inspiring, vulgar, and heartwarming quotes that would make for some fantastic Christmas cards. All of your favorites are here from all walks of life. We’ve got everyone from comedian George Carlin, to president Calvin Coolidge, to cartoonist Charles M. Schulz, to the sage Cousin Eddie. You’re guaranteed to chuckle or feel some holiday cheer as you click through these 10 quotes.

So without further ado, pour yourself a glass of egg nog, crank up “All I Want for Christmas Is You,” and scroll through the slideshow.

  • COED Writer
    Towson University graduate, Maryland resident, chicken parm connoisseur, and "Gin and Juice" karaoke performer. Follow me on Twitter for frequent complaining and Chappelle's Show quotes.