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WATCH: English Man Pretends To Cops He Doesn’t Understand What’s So Offensive About His Xmas Penis Lights


Christmas Lights Penis Bellend

Last week I told you all that I had found my new favorite Christmas video–a Peruvian policeman dressed as Santa Claus busting coke dealers–but I think that I’ve just discovered a better one. Behold: a video recording of a seemingly polite British man who doesn’t understand why the police are telling him that he can’t have a picture of a penis and the words “bellend” made out in Christmas lights. Now obviously he gets it, but he’s just pretending because… he’s British. This is honestly so funny and droll you’d think this was something written by Ricky Gervais or Monty Python or someone.

First of all, until a minute ago, I had never heard of the phrase “bellend” before. So I looked it up for you and learned that it’s what British people call the mushroom tip. Now that you know that, it’s going to be a lot funnier. Honestly the more words that I write, the more time you’re being kept from watching this.

I’ll shut up now.

I have watched this no less than three times and still can’t figure out which is my favorite set of lines from the video. Is it:

“It’s a mushroom.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Well, I’m dyslexic, so I can’t really tell.”

Or is it:

“Why can’t you put Merry Christmas up like everyone else”

“Well cause i had the word c*** up before”

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    Wyatt is a Gettysburg College graduate and NYC native who is flattered that you're interested about reading up on him.