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Merry Christmas From Kylie Jenner


My brain is absolutely broken today, folks. After 6+ months of working at a computer desk, my shit posture is finally starting to catch up with me and now I’ve got a nice, stiff neck. Kept me up all night and now I’m effectively useless. Sorry to disappoint.

With me being all broken-brained today, I need find content today that doesn’t require too much, uhhhh, what’s the word …  thought. So, naturally, I went straight to the Kardashians, the epicenter of thoughtlessness. Kim is old and busted these days so I Googled one of the young guns to see what bullshit they’re up to this week, and surprise, Kylie Jenner is wearing nothing on Instagram again.

In a rather bizarre Kardashian clan move, the photo has since been deleted. But as we all know, the internet is forever. Hopefully 2017 is the year she finally drops her sex tape on the world. After the shitshow that was 2016, nothing will bring us together more than a Kylie Jenner sextape ya know?

Also, my stiff neck/braindead did remind me of this absolutely classic Austin Powers scene, so I guess that’s a win:

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -