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Fat Joe Spotted With A Turnt AF Hillary Clinton Planning Next Phase Of Pizzagate


Sorry, I just couldn’t resist writing a headline that ridiculous. And that’s the scary party– there are people who will think it’s serious. In all seriousness, Joey Crack and Hill Dog aren’t planning pizzagate. No, no, they’re most likely lizard people (Google it) planning their return to the mother ship. Obviously. 

Now that I got that out of my system, let’s break down what’s actually going out here. There is just so much happening in this photo I can’t fully wrap my head around it. So let’s just move from left to right, shall we?

We start with this bald fellow on the left, who looks like he’s getting an earful of Slick Willy. He’s got a grin on his face, so Bill is either telling him a joke, an old sex story, or a combination of both.

As for our boy, the man, the myth, the legend, Slick Wild Wild West Willy, his face screams ‘I’m telling a story that I think is awesome.’ Gotta feel for Bill too, as Hillary losing was a bigger L for him than it was for her. If Hillary had become the president, Bill would have essentially spent the next four years in the White House just straight kickin’ it. While Hillary would be out globetrotting and taking care of diplomatic duties, Bill would be feet up in the Oval Office hitting on all the interns. Now? Now, he’s stuck with Hillary every day till the grave. Huge L.

Now for the centerpiece of the photo: Hill Dog. Looks like ole’ Hillary has really cut loose since losing to the Donnie. She looks WASTED. Turnt. Lit. F*cked up. All those slang words the kids use these days, those are all how she looks. I mean, a couple weeks ago she was a shoe-in to become our nation’s first female commander-in-chief, now she’s chilling with Fat Joe. Talk about a fall from grace. Imagine what that does to the psyche… I’d be boozing hard as f*ck too. I’m fully team #HillaryHittingTheBottle.

Chick in the middle of these two LEGENDS is cosmetic dentist Mojgan Fajiram. Don’t know enough about her to make any jokes, so we’ll move on.

Finally, we’re at Fat Joe. WHAT is Fat Joe doing here? And by here, I mean Ralph Lauren’s exclusive New York restaurant, The Polo Bar. You’ve got an ex-president in one corner, a runner-up president in another, Christie Brinkley’s old yet fineeeee ass is at the bar, and then you have 46-year-old “Lean Back” rapper Fat Joe. Something’s off here. Is Joey Crack the mastermind behind pizzagate? Maybe he’s in talks to be Hillary’s 2020 running mate? Who knows? I don’t. But what I do know is that this picture is f*cking hilarious.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -