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Is Riding A Unicycle Through A Crime Scene A Total Power Move?


Every college has that unicycle guy. When I was at Rutgers, our unicycle guy even did tricks. Up and down College Ave., just straight whipping his one wheeled beast making all of us two or four wheel folk look downright lazy. But I always wondered what the mysterious unicycler had to gain. It certainly isn’t convenience. Everyone knows the more wheels the better. Is it a statement? A Shia Labeouf-esque art installation? Is it respect? Is the unicycler demanding our respect? Or maybe there’s a faction of chicks whose panties instantly drop when they see a one-wheeled devil cruising down the street. I don’t know and maybe I never will. At this point, I’m starting to think unicyclers have a secret society/cult where they plan the deterioration of the human race from the inside. Maybe that could be the plot of True Detective‘s season three.

We got a little off topic. The original question was, is riding a unicycle through a crime scene a power move?

The answer?

You’re god damn right it is.

  • COED Writer
    A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -