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Was I F*cking Serious With This Facebook Status That I Posted 7 Years Ago?

via My Own Dumbass Facebook

via My Own Dumbass Facebook

Wow. Talk about zero responsibility in life. October of 2009 would put me in my junior year of high school and apparently I had nothing better to do than to think about cereal all day. Most 16-year-olds are worrying about things like their grades, maybe some varsity sports, the SATs, or getting their license — but not me. Nope. Only thing going on in my world was the next time I could fill my fat face with a bowl of chocolate peanut butter cereal.

Seriously, got to hand it to Facebook for jacking TimeHop’s shtick. Seeing your past social media transgressions is a real treat, ESPECIALLY when the statuses are this preposterous. Could you imagine logging on Facebook and telling your 1000 or so friends that what you’re looking forward to most is cereal? Absolute asshole move on my part.

Now, let’s not get it twisted, Reese’s Puff Cereal is the absolute fire, but enough to publicly express my addiction to it? Nah, not even close. Maybe most embarrassingly of all: I posted TWO statuses about Reese’s Puff cereal within eight hours of each other. I need to get a f*cking grip on my life.

Just an all-around disaster on my part. Luckily as the years have gone on, I’ve become more woke to the social media game. Just check out the last time I tweeted:

F*cking homerun.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -