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Ryan Lochte Doesn’t Understand The Process Of Aging


It’s been well documented that Ryan Lochte isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. Even before his Olympics fiasco this Summer, the American public was well aware of Lochte’s intelligence (or lack thereof). But, well, damn, I knew he was a little Forrest Gumpy,┬ábut I didn’t know it was this bad.

For the last THREE years, on October 23, Ryan Lochte has wished his dog a Happy 8th Birthday. Like, no kidding. Literally three years in a row, same age. That’s not even misunderstanding the aging process, that’s just fundamentally not understanding how addition works.



I’m actually almost speechless. The most amazing part is that you KNOW this isn’t some sort of meta-joke or publicity stunt — dude just genuinely doesn’t understand how the aging process works.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -