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LISTEN: Michael Irvin Has A Literal Hard-On For Ezekiel Elliott

Ethan Miller/Getty Images for DirecTV

Ethan Miller/Getty Images for DirecTV

On Tuesday, Michael Irvin went on Dallas radio station 105.3 The Fan to talk about his former team. The Hall of Famer was discussing how awesome Ezekiel Elliott is when he took his love affair for the rookie running back a little too far.

Jesus Christ, bro. Of all the ways to describe a football talent, that’s what you go with? It’s legitimately baffling to me that Irvin’s crazy ass was able to stay on television for so many years.

If anyone else said that about a player, I’d assume it was just an awful attempt at making a joke. But with Irvin’s history, I bet that he’s dead serious. Some dudes like to fire up the Latina section on PornHub, while others like to crank one out to fourth quarter runs from Ezekiel Elliott. Different wiener strokes for different folks.

There’s no judgment here, Michael. It’s 2016; be as goddamn strange as you wanna be.

  • COED Writer
    Towson University graduate, Maryland resident, chicken parm connoisseur, and "Gin and Juice" karaoke performer. Follow me on Twitter for frequent complaining and Chappelle's Show quotes.