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This Granny Gives No F*cks, Gets Popped Smuggling $500,000 Worth Of Cocaine

via ABC 15

via ABC 15

As Snoop Dogg famously rapped in his 2011 hit (not really) “Raised In Da Hood,” “Yeah you can take me out the hood, but you can’t take the hood up outta me, you dig?” Apparently, Cheryl Cheatham digs big time.

Cheatham, a Phoenix grandmother, is accused of flying cross-country with more than $500,000 worth of cocaine in her luggage. I don’t know what half a million dollars in cocaine looks like, but I imagine it must have been hard to fly under the radar

According to ABC 15, Cheatham, 63, flew from Las Vegas to Detroit last week with the cocaine individually bagged in two separate pieces of luggage. According to court testimony, a judge decided she will remain in custody in Michigan instead of granting Cheatham’s lawyers’ request to let Cheatham return to Arizona, where she lives with her daughter and three grandchildren.

As for how it went down:

Federal officers saw Cheatham look at several different bags at the baggage claim at the Detroit airport and began watching her, the complaint said. After she went to a Detroit-area hotel, but didn’t check in and instead left in a chauffeured SUV, police stopped the vehicle, the complaint said. A drug dog alerted to something in the vehicle, and police found the drugs in Cheatham’s luggage, the complaint said.

To make matters even stranger, once in custody, when Cheatham asked to call her daughter, she instead dialed a contact on her cell phone labeled “Loverboy.” The identity of Loverboy was not revealed in court.

All in all, gotta respect Grandma’s hustle on this one. At 63 years old, she should be long out the game,  but sometimes you just can’t let it go. Some people are born hustlers, go-getters, chart-toppers, coke-dealers, and Cheryl Cheatham is one of them.

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -