It Only Took Four Days For Ken Bone To Become A Total Sell Out

I would have rather he had taken the porn offer. F*cking Uber, Ken? Uber?! We thought you stood for something. How could you let down your fans, your followers, your BONEHEADS! Just when this country finally had a ray of hope, it’s sucked into the black hole that is corporate America. Dude didn’t even make it a week before selling out.

I mean, I give Bone credit for having some business sense: Internet memes are a dime a dozen, so you have to strike while the iron’s hot. To be honest, with how crazy this election’s been, I’m surprised Bone was able to even stay relevant for this long.

So, what the hell is Bone promoting anyway? Something called Uber Select. I’ve never heard of it. Anyway, in case you’re interested, for some reason, here’s the description:

Today we’re excited to announce the launch of uberSELECT — a new way to get around St. Louis in style.

Whether you’re headed to the airport, a mid-day meeting, or date night, uberSELECT gives you a luxury option for safe, reliable transportation without breaking the bank. Step into a BMW, Lexus, or other high-end vehicle and enjoy the ride.

The only question is, where does Bone go from here?

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