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Jim Harbaugh Goes Full Kid Mode, Orders Milk With Steak At Ruth’s Chris



Jim Harbaugh, you don’t need to pretend like you’re a weirdo anymore. We get it: you do strange stuff regularly. Putting Gatorade in cereal, eating your boogies on the sideline, wearing Dockers that you buy at Walmart… But the nonsense has to end when you start ruining a delicious steak meal with milk.

Once you’re over the age of 23, the only acceptable drinks with a steak dinner are red wine, beer, some sort of whiskey, or water. Milk is not included on that list. I feel like there’s a distinct possibility this move is just some sort of sick thing that Jim’s doing to fully engorge on cow. Like, he’s not just eating the meat, he’s drinking the stuff cows make to feed their babies.

So, why was he at Ruth’s Chris in the first place? A) Because it’s great and B) Because last weekend, Ruth’s Chris steakhouse had the genius marketing idea of discounting their customers’ bills by the percentage of points that Michigan beat Rutgers. So, for example, if Michigan beat Rutgers by 20 points, their customers would have their bill reduced by 20%.

What they weren’t expecting, though, was that Michigan would WHALLOP Rutgers 70-0. So, what we’re trying to say is that Jim’s milk was heavily discounted.

  • Director of Sales and Marketing
    Wyatt is a Gettysburg College graduate and NYC native who is flattered that you're interested about reading up on him.