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Florida Man Loses Pants During Robbery, Is Later Arrested With Crack Pipe Up His Ass

Mark Mainz/Getty Images

Mark Mainz/Getty Images

Columbus Henderson had himself a less than stellar week. On September 26, the 350-pound man had a pretty fantastic plan to make off with an easy score from a Fort Lauderdale, Florida Walmart, but he was sorely lacking in his execution. He took two 40-inch televisions to the register, had the cashier scan the items, and then in a M. Night Shyamalan-esque twist, he took off without paying for the TVs. So simple, yet so diabolical.

Pinellas County Jail

Pinellas County Jail

The only thing holding Henderson back from making a clean escape was a poor wardrobe choice. From The Smoking Gun:

As he scooted through the parking lot, the 45-year-old Henderson’s pants “fell off as he ran away,” according to Officer Scott Brandow. It appears that after Henderson’s pants fell to his ankles, he proceeded to run right out of the garment.

Police later determined that Henderson’s abandoned pants contained the suspect’s “medical identification.” Investigators added, “The entire incident was captured on video.”

It took cops about a week to catch up with Henderson, who was nabbed early Tuesday morning for grand theft, a felony.

That wasn’t the end of Henderson’s troubles, though. When he arrived at Pinellas County Jail, Henderson revealed that he had a crack pipe stored up in ass. The pipe was stuffed with Brillo, had burn marks on one end, and probably smelled like pure death. This added a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia to Henderson’s ever-growing rap sheet, which previously included crimes such as aggravated battery, robbery, and theft.

Unable to post the $2,150 bond, Henderson is currently locked up. Even though I’m sure he’s bummed with how everything worked out, I can only imagine the high-level crime capers he’s going to come up with while he’s in the slammer. You give this guy a pair of suspenders and he might become the next Danny Ocean.

  • COED Writer
    Towson University graduate, Maryland resident, chicken parm connoisseur, and "Gin and Juice" karaoke performer. Follow me on Twitter for frequent complaining and Chappelle's Show quotes.