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Unsurprisingly, Professional Idiot Piers Morgan Had An Idiotic Reaction To The Kardashian Robbery

(Frazer Harrison for Getty Images)

Frazer Harrison for Getty Images

Doesn’t Piers Morgan look like a d*ck? Not in the tradition sense – “Oh that guy looks like a dick” – but more literally. Piers Morgan actually kind of looks like a d*ck. Just something about his stupid fat face, I don’t know.

Anyway, aside from having penis-like features, Piers Morgan is also a raving idiot. He creates shock-value headlines and backs up his opinions with little or no substance. Like that time he called out Jennifer Aniston. Or that time he made fun of the nation of India during the Olympics.

So it comes without any surprise that Morgan’s take on the whole Kardashian robbery incident is absolutely asinine. First of all, his writing style is shit, let’s just get that out there. And he employed this crap writing style to pen an incoherent rant for The Daily Mail, calling for the firing of Kardashian’s Head of Security, Pascal Duvier. You’ve got Piers Morgan saying Duvier went AWOL, while Duvier’s employer says he is not to blame. In typical Morgan fashion, he creates an unintelligible parallel between Duvier’s social media usage and Sunday night’s robbery. Uh, what dude?

via The Daily Mail:

A glance through Duvier’s own Instagram account reveals endless self-glorifying images of him with his famous clients, and pompous self-inflating homilies about the art of being a bodyguard.

This is a man who clearly believes he is almost as big a star as the people he is paid to protect and likes nothing more than bragging about it. Yet when it comes to actually doing his job, he failed dismally.

Piers, Duvier is a former member of the German military and has worked for the likes of Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera. He CLEARLY knows what he’s doing.

Morgan then continued incorrectly blabbering about Duvier’s decision to go out to a club with Kris and Kendall Jenner (despite the fact that he only did so because Kim said she felt safe at her apartment. I highly doubt Duvier was out just so he could put a few shots down — he was working):

Particularly as he then decided to go a nightclub with Kim’s mother Kris and sister Kendall rather than stay with his principle charge.

Well, Piers, and Daily Mail editors, before you publish an offensively inept article like this one, you should probably fact check yourselves. Kris Jenner, who Morgan says was out clubbing in Paris with Duvier, was in America. Duvier was in fact out with Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner. I get it, all of their names start with K and it’s quite confusing but when you’re pedalling the bullshit that Piers Morgan is, he should at least try to be as factual as possible.

Look, I literally could not give less of a f*ck about the Kardashians, the Jenners, the Wests or whatever they hell their names are… I just CANNOT stand Piers Morgan, and will point out his stupidity any chance I get.

And since we’re here, here’s a couple videos of Piers Morgan getting absolutely clowned on by various guests:

COED Writer
A New Jersey native & Rutgers University graduate who firmly believes it's better to be lucky than good. My goal in life is to one day write a Batman screenplay. You can probably find me somewhere cooking either too little or too much pasta. contact me -