Dude Shares The Certifiably Insane List Of Rules His Girlfriend Gave Him Before He Went On Vacation

Kieran Lumsden, wherever you are right now, bail. Just dip, dude. This is just the tip of the iceberg, my friend. You’re a young man, get out while you can. Kieran Lumsden from Edinburgh recently shared the commandments his girlfriend Whitney Travers wrote for him before he went on vacation with his bros to Magaluf, and island off of Spain.

Kieran, don’t let the bright colors and seemingly joking nature fool you: this is just the tip of the iceberg. She’s using the playful nature of list making to disguising her stage-5 clinginess. Trust me, no matter how she acts, deep down, this is how she feels. Number 5: don’t mix drink? Come on, Whitney, women invented mixing drinks. Also, number 10 is a total lose-lose: how do you know what she considers flirting? If you cop to it, you’re a cheater. If you don’t, then the definition of flirting can be lost in translation, and you’ll be accused of being both a liar and a flirt.

Boys, let this be a warning to you all: a physical, tangible list of rules is never a good sign.

Whitneys took psychoness to a new level😂😂 pic.twitter.com/jq0BUflaqw

— Keeern (@Kieranlumsden67) July 31, 2016

Kieran’s post has garnered 13,000 likes and over 6,000 retweets

[h/t Distractify]

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