It’s Official: JJ Watt Has Absolutely No Game, Needs To Hire A Real Life Version Of Hitch ASAP

This is the second time in the last year that JJ Watt has absolutely blown it with a smokin’ hot blonde named Lindsey, and I’ve had enough.

JJ, you’re one of the most recognizable¬†athletes in the world, worth millions of dollars, with famous women literally throwing themselves at you, and you STILL can’t close. JJ, maybe if you focused a little more on your game and a little less on being a giant f*cking cornball, you’d be a lot more well liked by the bro community.

First, genetically engineered angel woman Lindsey Pelas literally told JJ to slide into her DMs:

Not once, BUT F*CKING TWICE! Dude, if Lindsey Pelas accidentally (or purposefully, wouldn’t matter to me) hit me with her car, let alone telling me to hit her up, I’d be making moves:

But what’d ol JJ do? He literally blew it. With Lindsey Pelas. Say this out loud, people: “Lindsey Pelas openly wanted JJ Watt, and he blew it.”

Fast forward to today, almost a year later, and guess what JJ is doing?! Still blowing it with world-class blonde women named Lindsey. And this Lindsey just happens to be Lindsey Vonn. Look at all the signals he throws at him, and watch this utter clown not pick up on a single one of them:

Grabs his arms, looks him in the eye, and talks about his package. IT DOESN’T GET ANY MORE OBVIOUS THAN THAT WATT. GOD DAMN DUDE.

JJ, you seem like a genuinely great guy, and are maybe the most dominant player in the NFL, but you’re game needs some serious help. Do yourself a favor and go hire a real life version of Hitch.

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