Parents need to step up their game. Forget about what OkCupid said about people with low IQs, if you’re not going to name your kid something cool, you shouldn’t be procreating. But unfortunately for the future of America, there’s only a bunch of squares popping out kids. And they’re naming them the most painstakingly boring names in the world.
According to a recent story from AP, Emma and Noah are the most popular baby names in America right now. Sadly, this is the second year in a row they have won that title, meaning things can only get worse from here. Hello conformity!
Here’s the full list:
Most Popular Baby Boy Names
Most Popular Baby Girl Names
Groundbreaking. Benjamin, Michael, and James? I know about 75 of each. Emily and Olivia? Yeah, I know them, but we aren’t friends because they’re absolutely awful. When are names like Thor and Lucinda going to get popular? Or Incubus? That’s a solid, badass name. Can someone please get on that and save us all from this boredom?
One thing that spiced up this list is how much people have started to hate the name Isis. Honestly I didn’t know that was a popular name to begin with, but obviously it’s pretty clear why the name has been avoided almost entirely.
One major change was the girls’ name Isis, which had remained steadily in the middle of the pack of the country’s top 1,000 names for the last 15 years. In 2015, after the name had emerged as an acronym for the extremist group Islamic State, it dropped completely off the list.
“It’s actually quite rare for a name to be eliminated by issues in the news,” she says, noting that the name Adolph was still at No. 555 in the U.S. at the end of World War II when the Nazis and Adolf Hitler fell.
Uhh… if you’re naming your kid Adolf, there’s something wrong with you. Let’s keep that one off the list for next year, shall we?