For anyone who’s ever said “I’d rather be riding a d*ck-shaped bumper car than a regular car,” you’re in luck. Introducing Erotika Land, Brazil’s very own sex theme park, complete with a ‘7D’ movie theater with vibrating seats, a nudist pool, and bumper cars shaped like genitalia.
The park is supposedly opening in 2018 near Piracicaba (about two hours away from Sao Paolo) and will include a “sex playground,” complete with a water slide, a “train of pleasure” (whatever that means), and an erotic sculpture park. Sounds like the perfect first date, if you ask me.
They’ve even got the food down — instead of walking around with nachos and cotton candy, Erotika Land will be serving up aphrodisiac snacks. But don’t get too excited, despite what you may thing, visitors can’t bang outside of the erotic sculpture park. Or anywhere else for that matter. However, builders are looking to satisfy everyone’s needs and will have a hotel nearby. You know, for easy access.
If you can manage to overlook the $100 entry fee, you’re going to have one hell of a time. And why wouldn’t you? Where else can you go to a sex theme park? Brazil! Of course this exists in Brazil! It’s f*cking Brazil. This is the country that brought you the Miss BumBum competition. What exactly were you expecting?
Mark my words: this will not be the last erotic theme park to pop-up in the area. And we’re totally cool with that.