LISTEN: Zayn Malik, Mind of Mine Stream: New Album

Zayn Malik’s first solo album, Mind of Mine just dropped, and I know you’re expecting a bunch of jokes about One Direction and/or leaving One Direction, but good luck with that. Have you seen how crazy Directioners are? No way are we going to provoke their foaming wrath. What we can do is tell you where to stream, download, and buy it so you’re not running around in every direction (ha!) trying to find it.

The artist formerly known as “That Guy from One Direction, I Only Know about Them Because My Daughter Won’t Stop Crying that He Left” has already released a single, “Like I Would,” but you’ve got to buy the deluxe edition to hear it (and note, that’s a different deluxe album than the Target one, below). Other singles come stock: “BeFoUr,” and “iT’s YoU.”

Stream Zayn Malik’s Mind of Mine

Who’s got money for fancy deluxe album in this day and age of your parents losing their jobs to robots and socialists? Nobody, that’s who. Thank goodness you can hear “Like I Would” for free on Spotify. In fact, just stream the whole dang album.

Buy Zayn Malik’s Mind of Mine on iTunes

Why don’t you thank Apple for not handing the Feds a backdoor into your phone by buying Zayn’s Mind of Mine from iTunes?

Buy Zayn Malik’s Mind of Mine on Amazon

Do it! You know you want to. Don’t listen to the doubters and haters who point out that Amazon is bleeding money. You have faith they’ll ship your copy of Mind of Mine in time! You believe! GO FOR IT!

Buy Zayn Malik’s Mind of Mine at Target

Back in the day there used to be these places called malls where kids could hang out and gleam the cube or meet Stan Lee…basic Americana stuff, all without getting into too much trouble. Those days are gone, and only the big box stores remain. You ever try bullying someone in a big box store? It’s just not the same. Thank goodness for cyberspace. Anyway, your favorite big box store this week is Target, because it has an exclusive deluxe version of the album with two bonus tracks: “DO SOMETHING GOOD” and “GOLDEN.”

Yes, those titles are all in caps, and believe us, that’s the sanest track listing on the album. Every other track is spelled like a MySpace screen name (remember MySpace? From the age of malls?), all written LiKE thIs.

Zayn Malik’s Mind of Mine Track List

Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Abandon intelligibility, all ye who enter.

1. MiNd Of MiNdd (Intro)
3. iT’s YoU
4. BeFoUr
5. sHe
6. dRuNk
8. rEaR vIeW
9. wRoNg
10. fOoL fOr YoU
11. BoRdErZ
12. tRuTh
13. lUcOzAdE
14. TiO

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