El Chapo Just Declared War On ISIS, So I Guess I’m A Fan of Mexican Drug Lords

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ISIS vs El Chapo2

El Chapo is not a good person by any definition of the word, but after hearing this story about how the Mexican drug lord just declared war on ISIS via email, I feel the need to get onboard.

Here’s part of the email that was sent after ISIS allegedly destroyed one of the Sinaloa cartel’s shipments. Keep in mind that the Sinaloa’s operations aren’t just limited to North America, they ship drugs worldwide. The email was found on cartelblog.com:

“You [ISIS] are not soldiers. You are nothing but lowly p*ssies. Your god cannot save you from the true terror that my men will levy at you if you continue to impact my operation… My men will destroy you. The world is not yours to dictate. I pity the next son of a wh*re that tries to interfere with the business of the Sinaloa Cartel. I will have their heart and tongue torn from them.”

Truthfully I’m skeptical about how real this “declaration of war” really is (how is it possible for El Chapo to send an email to one of the most wanted men in the world?) but I’m going to fantasize that the message is for real.

See, the Sinaloa Cartel are definitely the terrorists of North America, but just like how Al Quaeda hates ISIS, we want the Sinaloa Cartel hating ISIS too. The last thing we want are the two of them making friends and attacking us from the inside.

So El Chapo: I’m giving you my support for now. I’ll be purchasing twice as many “goodie bags” this week in good faith that you’ll join us in our fight against ISIS.

Side question:

Who would you rather be captured by? ISIS or the Sinaloa Cartel? I’m choosing ISIS 10/10 times. Those muslim terrorists will cut your head off or throw you off a building or something, whereas El Chapo and company are flat-out insane. They torture for fun. They’re the kind of people who will capture your family and slowly feed you their living intestines until you go insane. Sick sh*t like that.

 

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