According to a redditor who claims to attend Ole Miss, one freshman rushee handed out an absolutely killer resume to the active fraternity members he was hoping to join.
Now I’ve never once heard about someone handing out anything other than drugs or beers to get a bid, but you can bet your a** that this is a tactic about to take Greek Row by storm. Take a look at the gem below, then kick yourself for not thinking of this first.
So without further ado, let’s just go through this entire thing because it’s the best thing I’ve seen all day.
First off, that photo. Perfect. Quietly letting people know he’s an adult because he has a watch, a belt, shoes, un-pleated khakis, and a polo. But don’t you think for one second that this guy is a momma’s boy because look where the photo was taken. A football field. Bad ass.
Second, he completely throws off the reader with the whole father fraternal organization / college thing. Did his dad go to school? Was he in a fraternity? I don’t know, but I need to find out more about this man of mystery. You know that old cliche phrase “leave ’em wanting more?” Well this dude is singlehandedly turning that idea on its head, “start ’em out confused.”
Third, he unnecessarily double spaces those lines about college/affiliation which lets me know that this is a man who knows his way around not just page minimums, but loopholes in general.
Fourth, “he enjoys hunting/fishing.” BORING. That’s the only bad thing in the whole resume. Who wants to talk about shooting and fishing when there’s stuff like technology to discuss? Thankfully he saves himself with the mention of telecommunications and such.
Fifth. He’s been to Europe and enjoys telling stories from his trip. Damn! Tell me about that trip. That one trip you went on. How was it? Did they stamp your passport? Is that where you picked up those Italian loafers?
Fifth. He’s very intrigued by financial markets, regulations, and the industry itself. OK truthfully this is where he loses me because I have zero idea about finance but that’s why I need this guy on my team. We can both make an absolute killing in the finance world and then spend it all on technology.
So yeah, easy bid right? Wrong. Somehow this guy slipped right through the fingers of the Ole Miss brother who submitted this to reddit.