Chick Stuffs Heroin Up Her Vagina, Needs Surgery to Get It Out

Meet Miranda Baldonado, a 19-year-old chick who recently got pulled over by police while she was carrying heroin. Typical story, right? Wrong. As it turns out, Baldonado would wind up needing medical assistance after it was discovered that the heroin she was carrying was SHOVED UP HER F*CKING VAGINA!!!!

Why…Why….Whyyyyyy?!

Baldonado was a passenger in a car driven by convicted drug trafficker Michael Torrez when it was stopped and searched by Arizona police earlier this week. Authorities found a pound of heroin wrapped in condoms (at least they were using protection?) and eventually discovered more heroin was hidden, that’s right, you guessed it, INSIDE HER F*CKING VAGINA.

Sadly, the story continues.

A second passenger, 19-year-old Sarah Valencia, also had narcotics stored up her box. However, Valencia did not need medical assistance to remove them, as she is obviously a grizzled veteran in the vagina stashing game.

Everyone in the car was charged with multiple felonies, including possession and transportation of narcotics for sale. Baldonado andValencia were also charged with evidence tampering. They are being held on a $150,000 bond.

I honestly don’t even know where to start with this one. It’s like, I’m freaked out, but I’m also kind of impressed? Like, this chick is obviously super ride or die. Right? Forget it. Let’s just hope neither of them had to sneeze.

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