This Dude Did a Four-Week Workout To Strengthen His Dong

In one of the most horrifying tell-alls we’ve seen all day, this dedicated journalist spent four weeks of his life subjecting himself to Private Gym, a program designed to help strengthen your dick. Yeah, for real. The program claims to be just “as good as Viagra”  and aims to support harder erections, stamina, and stronger orgasms. But how is all of that going to happen when it falls off from lifting weights?!

Writer Justin Caffier explains the process:

“Eager to get started, I watched the instructional DVD, which vocally guided me through a workout plan from basic training through resistance training. Every other day, I squeezed and released my pelvic floor muscles for ten minutes at a time, sans erection, to build up my base strength. Private Gym said I was performing a bunch of different exercises, but really it came down to whether or not I was holding my squeeze for one second or three and whether or not I was squeezing or squeezing hard. I did this routine while crawling in traffic, while watching a movie, and while seated at cafes with nice families strolling by, blissfully unaware of how hard I was squeezing.

After the first week, I wasn’t really noticing any of the DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) I’d experience at the non-penile gym. Was this even working? Had I just shelled out $100 for a cock workout that didn’t even work? I wasn’t sure, but I pushed onward, and after a few weeks of basic training, I was ready to start using the weights.”

The end result? His girlfriend didn’t even notice. So… what was the point of this again?

[H/T: Vice]

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