5 Things You Could Buy With Michigan Fraternities’ $430K

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I’m always down for a good party. And sometimes a little party leads to some big damages.

Everyone in a fraternity has his own formal/away-weekend stories that typically end in fines and a loss of dignity, but most think the Sigma Alpha Mu chapter at The University of Michigan took things a little too far.

According to the Detroit Free Press, “About 120 U-M students, members of Sigma Alpha Mu and women from its sister sorority Sigma Delta Tau, had gathered at the ski resort. There was damage to 45 rooms, and students destroyed ceiling tiles and exit signs, broke furniture and doors and urinated on carpeting…”

At first it was believed that damages would be around $50K, but after resort officials realized they had SAM bent over a barrel they increased the damages to total nearly $430,000! Obviously poor decisions were made that weekend, but we brought Captain Hindsight by to explain exactly how that money could have been better spent.


1. This single-family home in Ann Arbor

This 4-bed, 2-bath 1925 Classic Dutch Colonial sits just 2.1 mi outside of the Ann Arbor campus. The asking price is $425,000 – leaving some extra cash for furnishing. Honestly…it’s a pretty nice spot. Plus you have the added bonus of a basement for hazing building brothers up.


 

Alcohol

2. Alcohol

Here’s the breakdown for those picking up their booze at Campus Corner Party Store in Ann Arbor (before tax). This is real research, people:

• 30-Rack of Hamm’s Light ($14.99) – approximately: 28,600 racks = 860,000 beers

• 1.75L Handle of Crystal Palace Vodka ($15.99) – approximately: 26,800 handles = 1.07 million shots

• Keg of Keystone Light ($50) – approximately: 8,600 kegs = 1.2 million 120z beers

A combo of the three could mean an epic party, even for Michigan.


 

Tesla

3. Cars

Everyone of these lists has a car-equivalency right? Well for this one, we picked the 2015 Tesla P85D–of which Sammy could pick up 4 of these babies fully-loaded.


 

Mayweather-Pacquiao

4. Tickets to Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Tickets for the most anticipated boxing match-up of the decade are hard to come by. CBS Sports reports the tickets will range in price from $1,000 to $5,000 and let’s remember…these kids go to Michigan – so they obviously aren’t taking the cheap seats.

With that money – they could afford 86 of the best seats in the house and give them away to 7 out of every 10 kids partying at the resort that weekend.


 

Steak

5. Steak

What red-blooded American frat-star doesn’t enjoy a good steak? Peter Luger’s–one of the best steakhouses in the business–will ship you a package containing 2 porterhouses (36-38oz each), 2 strip steaks (24-26oz), and 2 bone-in rib steaks (30-32oz). Of course this is all USDA PRIME dry aged beef and includes two bottles Lugar’s delicious signature sauce.

This package costs a mere $424.95 before shipping and can probably feed up to 9 people. SAM could have over 1,000 of these shipped to Ann Arbor; thats almost enough beef to feed the entire Michigan greek community twice.

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