Since we had zero dogs in the race when it came to who won the World Series, we were pulling for the Giants to beat the Royals only because it would have meant we’d get to watch Madison Bumgarner celebrate by pouring seven beers on his face. Unfortunately, this is the boring celebration we were met with….
Bro, WTF? Talk about a curveball. This was your opportunity to shine (more than you did by pitching an awesome season)! We can count numerous ways you could have wow’d the fans, even if you had tired of pouring bottles of beer on yourself.
You won a Chevy truck filled with “technology and stuff.” Maybe fill the bed of it with Budweiser, lie down underneath it and open the gate–thrilling everyone with not only your wastefulness but also your boldness in the face of drowning. Everyone knows beer is dangerous.
Twitter offered some other ideas:
You disappoint us man.