Dunce Smuggles Drugs via Stuffed Animal in a D.A.R.E. T-Shirt


Drugs via Stuffed Animal in a D.A.R.E. T-Shirt

All kinds of smart-asses in general have ironically donned D.A.R.E. t-shirts sincethe “Drug Abuse Resistance Education” program was instituted in 1983. We’ve all gotten the joke–except for 22-year-old Gregory Bolognese of upstate Plattsburgh, New York, who was arrested at a Greyhound bus station in possession of cocaine, marijuana, and LSD.

Technically, Bolognese did not have the illegal materials on his person; instead, he carried them all jammed inside a stuffed toy lion that was clad in a t-shirt with the familiar logo “D.A.R.E. to Resist Drugs and Violence.” According to New York State Police, Bolognese did manage to resist the violence part.

The authorities have not explained how or why officers came to suspect Bolognese’s furry little friend was crammed with contraband but, as noted, the use of a D.A.R.E. t-shirt to communicate “Hey, look here! I take drugs!” has been standard stoner procedure for more than 30 years now.

Today’s cops are not the clueless “Joe Friday” buzzkill squares of ancient TV shows; odds are now that the average law enforcement officer, in his day, tore it up as many campus keggers as you do at present. He understood the code of D.A.R.E. t-shirts then, and he’s got new ways of dealing with those interpretations now.

So just assume the next D.A.R.E. t-shirt you see is the property of either a dope fiend, a narc, or, as is proven by the case of Gregory Bolognese, a world-class dumbass. The only way he could have made his scheme more obvious would have been to eschew the D.A.R.E.-shirted toy lion instead for a D.A.R.E.-shirted toy mule.

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