13 Reasons Why the Week Won’t Suck: Sep 15-18


Temperatures have dramatically dropped in many parts of the country, so even if football season (NFL, NCAA, and fantasy alike), new TV series premieres, parties moving indoors, and tight hoodies clinging to hotties all over campus haven’t made it crisply clear: fall is dropping in hard. And that’s cool (in every sense).

This week’s good time possibilities include gridiron showdowns with the Eagles versus the Colts and the Buccaneers versus the Falcons, dangerously alluring ladies Karen O and Dita Von Teese performing live, Kentucky celebrating its greatest liquid export for five days, Jason Dean and Florida Georgia Line burning down Red Rocks, a couple of intriguing college basketball contests, and the Blu-ray arrival of eclectic special edition must-haves for all types of movie fans: the 2014 Godzilla, Ghostbusters 1 and 2, and Eraserhead.

Here are the 13 choicest options for having fun this week…

Monday Night Football: Eagles at Colts

(September 15)

In their season kickoff games, the mighty Eagles lost to the puny Jacksonville Jaguars, and the Colts went down to the Broncos, so at least they can use Peyton Manning as an excuse. Stakes are high, then, for both squads to avoid beginning the season 0-2. Indianapolis has won its previous seven Monday Night Football games and they’ve beaten Philadelphia in four of their last five match-ups. In addition, Eagles Evan Mathis and Allen Barbre are sidelined with injuries. On paper, it all looks like a set-up for slaughter, but nothing’s more thrilling than an underdog victory, so don’t write off the Eagles as completely plucked until the final play. [photo: Doug Pensinger/Getty]


Blue Jays at Orioles

(September 15)

AL East first-placers the Orioles host the second place Blue Jays for a three game series. Baltimore is firmly entrenched at the top, but with pennant fever burning hot and hard, a Toronto streak could seriously impact each team’s playoff destiny. Thursday’s match-up comes with the bonus of it being Free Orioles T-Shirt Night. [photo:Tom Szczerbowski/Getty]


Godzilla on Blu-ray

(September 16)

Up from the depths of his atomic-hot 60-year history in Japan and a stinkbomb 1998 Hollywood misfire, the titular terrible lizard of Godzilla conquered the world anew this past summer in a 3D blockbuster done right. The CGI effects are completely convincing and the human cast successfully sells the notion of a nuke-powered dinosaur posing some horrendously credible threats. Bryan Cranston lends particular gravitas as a wigged-out scientist. After Big G wastes Waikiki, his San Francisco rampage achieves what seems to be peak awesomeness when it amazingly turns into a three-way giant monster Battle Royale. Turn your surround sound up loud and don’t be surprised if you find yourself ducking debris.


Kentucky Bourbon Festival

(September 16-21)

Bardstown, Kentucky has been flush with impeccably smooth and delectable brown fluid since 1776, when the town’s earliest master distillers established it as a stronghold of world-class bourbon production. The annual Kentucky Bourbon Festival flows with local spirits—in every sense—for six glorious days (and six mornings after), offering nonstop access to the area’s finest liquid confections, along with multiple food options and fun events to stumble to and from between refills. Among your non-potable options are a demonstration on The Ancient Craft of Barrel Making, a paranormal walking tour/ghost hunt, an Evolution of Bourbon Through Bluegrass concert, the Kentucky Bourbon Festival Golf Tournament, and the Bootleggers & Bushwhackers Train Robbery live show on board a steam locomotive. Or you can just drink.


New Girl: Season 4 Premiere

(September 16)

Fox initially sold New Girl as a cutesy, “adorkable” sugar-fest centered on indie flick quirk goddess Zooey Deschanel. Make no mistake, she’s the star of the show but, as crafty schoolteacher Jess, Zooey proved to be a top-notch TV comedienne, and her supporting cast of dudes turned New Girl into one of the great sitcoms of its era. Max Greenfield’s character Schmidt is, in a cockeyed way, the modern George Costanza, Hannah Simone is gorgeous and witty as Cece, and watch for fresh energy from co-stars Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. as they’re hot off a successful big-screen team-up in the comedy Let’s Be Cops. Plus, Jessica Biel in the premiere episode.


Ghostbusters 1 & 2 on 4K Blu-ray

(September 16)

“Who ya gonna call?” Do we even have to ask? Ghostbusters turns 30 this year and, right after Bill Murray recently named his picks for an all-female third installment (Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig), the original one-two punch of hilarious supernatural blockbusters hit Blu-ray in a new 4K-mastered edition with a collectible Digibook. Special features include interviews, documentaries, production notes, character sketches, and more bonus videos than you can shake a Proton Pack at.


Karen O at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery

(September 17-19)

Taking a break from her superstar group the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, stylish songbird Karen O is on the road to support her new solo album, Crush Songs. Spike Jonze recently shot and released an impromptu music video for Karen’s single “Ooo”, but the singer has upped that allure and intrigue with her L.A. tour stop this week: she’ll be performing on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Don’t be a stiff: be there.


Dita Von Teese in “Burlesque: Strip Strip Hooray”

(September 17-20)

Former Mrs. Marilyn Manson, veteran Wonderbra model, and perpetually bumping-and-grinding retro sex symbol Dita Von Teese slinks and sashays her traveling show Burlesque: Strip Strip Hooray into New York City’s Gramercy Theater. Combining the va-va-voom voluptuousness of yesteryear with the cutting-edge tattooed alterna-babe carnality of today, Dita’s 90-minute revue features four epic production numbers in which she’s joined by modern burlesque legends on the order of Dirty Martini, Catherine D’lish, Perle Noir, Selene Luna, and Lada Nikolska of the Crazy Horse Paris. So forget any nearby full-nude strip clubs, why not pay to sit in a theater and see smut the way your grandfather had to?


The Mysteries of Laura: Series Premiere

(September 17)

Lithe, limber-bodied redhead Deborah Messing has been a TV staple since her breakthrough as the Grace half of the classic sitcom Will and Grace. For her latest NBC primetime incarnation, The Mysteries of Laura, Deborah plays an NYPD homicide detective and single mom of twin boys. Previews indicate the show is packed with snappy, hard-edged patter and, somewhat surprisingly, Deborah reinventing herself as a badass MILF who’s neither intimated by wasting criminal scum nor baring her sexily mature curves clad in only bra and panties. We’ll be tuning into the premiere and quite possibly hitting pause on scenes that fit that letter description.


Buccaneers at Falcons

(September 18)

After a putrid 4-12 record in 2013, Fox Sports has anointed the Buccaneers a “sexy pick” to make the playoffs this season and new 35-year-old quarterback Josh McCown will be throwing his hardest to make good on the team’s seemingly reinvigorated potential. The Falcons aim to fly in their usual high style and, tonight, the team is offering free public transportation rides to fans to and from the game in partnership with Miller Lite. Please ride and pass out on the MARTA train responsibly. [photo:Al Messerschmidt/Getty]

Jason Aldean and Florida Georgia Line at Red Rocks

(September 18)

The two heaviest hitting acts of contemporary “bro country” roll their “Burn It Down” tour into Colorado’s legendary Red Rocks amphitheater. The music of both Jason Aldean and Florida Georgia Line is hugely influenced by rock and hip hop and now, after a summer of wild, drunken criminality at multiple country concerts, their performances pack the same alluring menace that’s previously been associated with gangsta rap shops and heavy metal mosh pits. So go for the tunes and stay or flee in the event of chaos. It’s your choice.


Thursday Night College Football

(September 18)

Competing with the NFL for your football attention span, the No. 5 Auburn Tigers take on the No. 19 Kansas City Wildcats, while the Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions, who just defeated Concordia Alabama 31-0, are playing the Alabama State Hornets. [photo:Michael Chang/Getty]


Eraserhead: Criterion Collection Blu-ray

(September 16)

Cult filmmaker David Lynch has described his breakthrough freak-out midnight movie as “a dream of dark and troubling things.” Talk about hitting the nail on the Eraserhead. Lynch’s signature surrealism that’s become familiar from his classic TV series Twin Peaks and his brutally bizarre films such as Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, and Mulholland Drive (if you haven’t seen them, just take a cinema studies class: you will) is all evident in Eraserhead’s singularly sinister black-and-white universe of mutant babies, industrial racket, and grotesque body horror.

After slipping out of print for too many years, the new Eraserhead Blu-ray is part of the esteemed Criterion Collection and, as such, comes with an array of special features, critical essays, and bonus videos that prove fascinating in themselves. Are you looking to score with a goth babe or art major this week? Pick up Eraserhead, pop it in your Blu-ray player, and watch the weird chicks instantly form an oddly-attired line outside your dorm room.

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