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The Best Fantasy Football Team Names, Ordered By Team


Ray Rice

Everyone knows that fantasy football team names are just as important as the actual team you draft. And because most people will be drafting their teams sometime this week, we figured now would be the best time to unleash the most comprehensive list of questionably inappropriate team names, categorized by NFL teams. Some teams have more names than others, but that’s just the way it goes.

And because Ray Rice is this year’s Aaron Hernandez, we’ve awarded him his own category right at the top. Here we go:

Ray Rice

• The Rice-Struck It Challenge
• Rice To Beat You
• The Raymakers
• Beats By Rayy

Atlanta Falcons

• This Means Worrilow

Baltimore Ravens

• Ngatty Bohs
• Baugh So Hard University
• Suggs Not Drugs
• Wakka Flacco Flame
• Forsett Down Her Throat

Buffalo Bills

• Manuel Stimulation
• Drill’er than Spill’er
• Ghostfaced Spiller
• Elementary, My Dear Watkins
• Thad State of Affairs

Carolina Panthers

• H.A.M. Newton

Chicago Bears

• The Bearatheons

Cincinnati Bengals

• Death by Sanu Sanu

Cleveland Browns

• Johnny Eightball
• A Mingo Ate My Baby
• Josh Gordon’s Head Shop

Dallas Cowboys

• Yoko Romo
• Romosexual Tendencies
• Josh Brent Driving Academy
• What? Me Murray?

Denver Broncos

• Demaryius Targaryen
• Wild Wild Wes
• Dark Knighton Rises
• Bong Miller

Detroit Lions

• Kung Suh Panda
• Smegmatron
• Suh Girls One Cup
• Suh Wants To Party
• Taters Gonna Tate
• Hooked On Ebronics

Green Bay Packers

• Green Bowl Packers
• Ah! Ah! Clinton’s Dick
• Laced God

Houston Texans

• Clowney Questions, Bro
• Turn Down For Watt
• Insane Clowney Posse

Indianapolis Colts

• Don’t Luck at my Fleener

Jacksonville Jaguars

• Orange is the New Blackmon
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles
• Bortle Service

Kansas City Chiefs

• Smoke a Bowe, Drink a Forte
• You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Bowe
• KC Anthony
• Hootie and the Bowefish
• Nuclear Jamaalacaust
• Gotta Catch Jamaal

Miami Dolphins

• Cameron Wake And Bake
• Incognito Mode
• South Beach Bullies

Minnesota Vikings

• 3 QBs Walk Into A Barr

New England Patriots

• Munchen on Bundchen
• Seau No More
• Hernandez Pistol Offense

New Orleans Saints

• Brees Hoes Aren’t Loyal
• InstaGraham Straight Flexin
• Breesus King of the Drews
• Cambodian Brees Milk

New York Giants

• Straight Outta Coughlin
• What You Talkin Bout Hillis
• Plaxiddental Shooting
• Blue Tang Clan
• Y.A. Tittle Twister

New York Jets

• Geno-cologists
• Geno 911
• Vick In A Box
• Say My Namath

Oakland Raiders

• Dude, Where’s My Carr
• Schaubshank Redemption

Philadelphia Eagles

• It Ertz When I Pee
• Chips McCoy!
• McCoy Meets World
• Shurmur, She Wrote

Pittsburgh Steelers

• Ben There, Raped That
• Le’Veon Loves A Good Blount
• Bob’s Rothlesburgers
• We’re the Heath Millers

San Diego Chargers

• Cry Me A Rivers

San Francisco 49ers

• 2 Girls, 1 Kaep
• Harb Gore Porn

Seattle Seahawks

• Russellmania XVI

St. Louis Rams

• Faulk Her Right in the Pu**y
• Inglorious Bradfords

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

• Lookingg For Love In Aterraun Places
• The Bunsen Verners
• Alstott Truck Insurance
• Lovie or Hate me

Tennessee Titans

• Do The Sankey Leg

Washington Redskins

• Robert Griffin The Turd
• suRG3ry

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    Wyatt is a Gettysburg College graduate and NYC native who is flattered that you're interested about reading up on him.