magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

15 Reasons Why the Weekend Won’t Suck [August 15th -17th]


Why This Weekend Won't Suck-2

Don’t be upset at the fact that summer is coming to an end, instead we suggest you act like 5th year senior and make the most out of these days.

Lucky for you there’s tons of reasons for you to let loose-unless you live in Louisville or Detroit (then we suggest you stay the f*ck inside). So check below for the 15 best Reasons Why This Weekend Won’t Suck.


National Relaxation Day

(Aug 15)

Ease back, simmer down, unwind, and celebrate National Relaxation Day by putting your feet up, powering your phone off, and actively engaging in our modern era’s least indulged pursuit of pleasure: disengaging and pursuing nothing but the art of the chill. It’s the perfect follow-up to last Sunday’s official holiday: National Lazy Day.


Musicfest NW

(Aug 16-17)

Rollick among the Redwoods as Portland, Oregon’s Waterfront Park hosts the Northwest’s largest outdoor music gathering, rain or shine (anyone familiar with the area’s climate will know to prepare for both). NYC EDM duo Phantogram and digital mashup master Girl Talk top the bill Friday night; spry pop sister act Haim and alterna-indie superstars Spoon headline Saturday.



Real Life Purges?

(Detroit: 1200 – 800 AM | Louisville: 800 PM – 630 AM)

Word on the streets is that there are a couple of real-life purges going down this weekend in Detroit and Louisville. People have been spray painting signs and leaving fliers alerting the public. Do we believe it? Not for one second. But with all the riots and turmoil going down in St. Louis, we’re paying attention. Don’t do anything foolish, guys.

Life After Beth

Life After Beth

(Aug 15)

Aubrey Plaza is the title character in an indie zombie comedy that hits theaters in limited release. That means, yes, the sexily sarcastic Parks and Recreation beauty plays a zombie. Ponder along with co-star Dan De Haan (Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man 2) how much of a deal-breaker Aubrey’s undead status would be, and enjoy a powerhouse cast of funny folk on the order of Anna Kendrick, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Cheryl Hines, and Paul Reiser.


Peach Music Festival

(Aug 15 – 17 | Scranton, Pennsylvania)

With delicious appropriateness, the Allman Brothers Band serves as the main course at Scranton, Pennsylvania’s Peach Music Festival. The group is slated to blaze through the entirety of their 1972 classic Eat a Peach on both Saturday night and Sunday evening. The Keystone State’s tie-dye and hacky-sack peddlers wept a bit earlier this week over Bob Weir’s sudden Ratdog cancellation, but heady comfort can be taken in the other ready-to-endlessly-rock jam band giants grooving on the bill, including the Trey Anastasio Band, Gov’t Mule, and Tedeschi Trucks Band.

Monster Mania

Monster Mania Convention

(Aug 15 – 17)

Nostalgia for horror flicks, retro TV, pro wrestling, and other beloved media oddities is set to storm Cherry Hill, New Jersey by way of the three-day Monster Mania Convention. Dealer booths loaded with rare and wild videos, books, toys, t-shirts, and other ephemera will abound, but the real draw is the change to press the flesh with offbeat celebrities during Q&A and autograph sessions.

Among this year’s VIPs are Mads Mikkelsen (NBC’s Hannibal himself); numerous Walking Dead cast members; Adam West and Burt Ward (TV’s Batman and Robin); Verne Troyer (Mini-Me), Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), and WWF legends Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake.

Fright film fans will be especially electrified by cast reunions of two all-time ’80s cult classics They Live (Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster); and Return of the Living Dead (Linnea Quigley, James Karen, Clu Gulager, and Allan “Tar Man” Trautman).


56th Annual Chicago Air and Water Show

(Aug 16-17)

The skies above the Windy City roar with jet-propelled thunder as humanity’s most amazing aerialists soar over Lake Michigan for this yearly weekend of gravity-mocking daredevil death defiance.. The U.S. Navy Blue Angels team are the top stars, followed by the U.S. Army Parachute Team Golden Knights and the U.S. Navy Parachute Team Leap Frogs. The expected two million spectators can also marvel at cutting-edge weapons of winged dominance on the order of the U.S. Air Force F-22 Raptor and the Marine MV-22 Osprey. Civilian teams fill out the bill. Bring earplugs and, depending on your degree of anxiety over stupefying sky stunts, an air sickness bag.


Denver Broncos at San Francisco 49ers

(Aug 17 | 4:00 PM EST | Fox 5)

The 49ers host last year’s AFC West champs the Denver Broncos in the first preseason game to be played at Levi’s Stadium in San Francisco. Quarterback Peyton Manning is looking formidable again, but the Niners are bringing four top-tier new talents to the showdown: defensive end DeMarcus Ware, cornerback Aqib Talib, wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders, and safety T.J. Ward. Plus, maybe they’ll use the t-shirt guns to fire Levi’s jeans into the crowd.


National Rum Day

(August 16th)

Saturday, August 16th is National Rum Day–a full 24-hour period where no one can question why you’re drunker than a pirate. If you plan on celebrating accordingly, can we suggest having a rum drink you’ve never had before? Mount Gay and Tonic, Rum Swizzle, Dark ‘n’ Stormy, Mojitos–the choices are endless. What’s important is that you experiment with different drinks and wake up with a hangover bad that makes you want to walk the plank.


NYS Woodsman Field Days Lumberjack Contest

(Aug 15-17)

Attention, burly men: pack your axes and haul your strapping selves to the scenic Adirondack Mountains town of Boonville, New York for this massively popular lumberjack throwdown. Log rolling, cross-cutting, tree-felling, chainsaw sculping, hatchet throwing, canoe and kayak races, and superhumanly proportioned more-than-you-can-eat breakfasts highlight the schedule. Hop the first big, blue ox you see and get up there.


Seattle Hempfest

(Aug 15-17)

Recreational weed was famously legalized in Washington State recently, making the Emerald City’s twenty-third annual gathering of the green likely to be even more potently hazy than in heavy-puffing times past. That is despite that fact that—as the event’s official site points out—“Smoking of cannabis is illegal in Seattle parks.” Sure, brah. So go try not to light up anything funny among Hempfest’s six music stages, Munchie Market, groovy guest speakers, and how-to demonstrations regarding “pot gardens.”

See the 35 best photos from 2013 Seattle Hempfest here.

Mets at Cubs

Chicago Cubs at New York Mets

(Aug 15-17)

The Second City’s pepetual also-rans head east to meet Gotham’s eternal underperformers for a four-game match-up. Cubs southpaw starter Travis Wood is on a relative hot streak with seven straight strong performances. He kicks it off Friday against the Mets’ Zack Wheeler, who is himself not having a typical Mets pitcher season. Head to Citifield and forget the teams—see what happens when you start a debate about Chicago versus New York pizza.


Podcast Movement 2014

Do you remember rock-and-roll radio? Do you remember radio, period? The dominant specialized audio entertainment medium of the past century has almost entirely ceded its might to the do-it-yourself, let’s-put-on-a-show art form of podcasting. Dallas, Texas welcomes the first mass gathering of podcasters and their fans at the Westin Galleria. The show promises forty different breakout groups to discuss trends, techniques, and developing technology, and also features keynote speakers Chris Brogan, Srinivas Rao, Cliff Ravenscraft, Jaime Tardy, and Evo Terro. Pack extra earbuds.

Brady Bunch

Brady Bunch Convention

(Aug 15-17)

It’s the story of the sticky-sweet 1970s family sitcom that, unlike the cast’s then-sharp bell-bottoms and man-perms, will never fade out of fashion. Brady Bunch boosters are set to descend on the Hilton Meadowlands like housekeeper Alice on a hot delivery of Sam the Butcher’s meat. Scheduled to appear are original cast members Barry Williams (Greg), Christopher Knight (Peter), Mike Lookinland (Bobby), Susan Olsen (Cindy) and even Robbie Rist (Cousin Oliver), along with the fake Jan from The Brady Bunch Variety Hour and the fake Cindy from A Very Brady Christmas.


Dinosaur 13

(Aug 15)

A documentary about the largest Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton ever found, Dinosaur 13 plays out like a Hollywood science adventure turned political thriller. After South Dakota archaeologists led by paleontologist Peter Lardon unearth the remains of a monster they nickname “Sue”, ten years of conspiracies, custody battles, and government interference follow involving the FBI, the National Park Service, and local Indian tribes. Larson even lands in jail all on a hero’s quest to get his heap of bones. Check out Dinosaur 13 in limited theatrical release and be careful what you dig for.

  • COED Writer