magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

Harvard Ladies Aren’t Getting Satisfied, According to a Cosmo Essay


hooking up

If you thought Harvard was an elitist battleground for social class warfare, you’re right and it’s worse than you thought. The problem even extends to the bedroom and it’s leaving the ladies very unsatisfied.

Student Alexis Wilkinson wrote an essay for Cosmopolitan magazine (that’s right, we read Cosmo sometimes, deal with it) in which she describes the school’s “skewed sexual power dynamic” that is leaving female students unsatisfied and outclassed in some cases when it comes to hooking up with guys or even finding meaningful relationships. Apparently, that stereotype about Harvard students acting like elitist snobs in every aspect of their life is more true than you think.

Wilkinson then describes campus life after class and in the clubs as a culture of competitiveness in which cliques rule the social scene and the most popular kids at the top of the food chain are based on whose family has the most yachts and the lower rung consists of students who think Chipotle is too expensive.

Some of these guys can be even more selfish in bed. Wilkinson said some of her female classmates aren’t getting their share when it comes to hooking up with a guy. She described conversations with some students who said they feel unsatisfied and even reported some extreme douchebags who “don’t reciprocate” oral sex, which up until now we just thought was a cruel joke in a game of Cards Against Humanity.

If Harvard is supposedly the cream of the collegiate crop, then their ability to satisfy a woman should reflect that. Guys, take off your elitist monocles and get to work on making the ladies happy assuming that you’re lucky enough to get one in the first place.

  • COED Writer
    I'm human. I swear.