magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-down

Student’s Epic Note To Professor Reads Like College Novel (Or Bad Trip)



longest letter

Every student has a teacher or professor who inspired them to do great things. Even the students who squeaked out a “D-” before they graduated were inspired by a Human Sexuality teacher to “up their game” when they went out into the real world. We found a letter, however, that would make even the proudest professor wish he hadn’t spent so much time on a single student.

The letter comes from a student in India, and it is painful to read. In fact, we challenge you to see how long you can read it without turning your attention to something else or start praying for a computer meltdown. It’s like a staring contest you can have with yourself that still comes with the same risk of permanent eye damage. He writes to a college professor who obviously means a lot to him about his time in his new home, “social work” studies and ideas for his upcoming thesis but every tiny detail seems worthy of reporting. In other words, it’s obvious that he’s writing a thesis because it reads like one.

He also seems obsessed with finding new ways to describe his feelings. He’s not just feeling alone. He “like a bird who has been transferred from the zoo of technological cages to the zoo of social cages.” He also doesn’t seem to know which details he really shouldn’t share like his brief relationship with “a Chinese dragon from Shanghai” or the time he ran into a group of “hipsters” and “the mental travels that I have had on trying Speed, Mushrooms, Truffles, Ecstasy.”

Also, his love life comes up for discussion, because why not?

After seeing many girls, I finally landed on a Chinese dragon from Shanghai with whom I lived the last five months. She has left for good to China and I have to move on with my eyes already cast on a possible next. This was my first live-in relation and I must say, it is one hell of a lot different from a normal relationship. The intricacies of understanding the implications in her eye movements, her gestures, her silent treatments and the dos and do-nots while living with the person were a fascinating learning experience for me…

You have to read the entire letter for yourself. It’s like having a mental conversation with someone who you can’t shut up. I mean besides the voices that already occupy your skull.

  • COED Writer
    I'm human. I swear.